Behind the Scenes
by LeiaHestia
Summary: In 2018, former movie star P.T. Barnum is fulfilling his dream: directing the most inspiring movie-musical ever! Overall a lighthearted fic where we can see everything that goes on off-camera. Addresses some difficult issues and has occasional language, but rating is still K . Full summary inside! I don't own the Greatest Showman. Enjoy!
1. Quiet on the Set! (The Beginning)

Summary

It's 2018, and former movie star Phineas Taylor "P.T." Barnum is ready to fulfill his dream of directing the most inspiring movie-musical ever! Where Lettie plays matchmaker, Jenny Lind is a diva in more ways than one, and Charity is just trying to keep everyone in one piece. Not for Jenny Lind fans. There is some discussion of difficult issues like slavery, racism, class division, violence, body image, homophobia, and very occasional language. However, this is overall a fun, lighthearted story. I don't own the Greatest Showman. Enjoy!

 **Chapter One: Quiet on the set! (The Beginning)**

* * *

At 3 A.M in a modest apartment in California, Anne Wheeler was rudely awakened by her cell phone ringing. She rolled over sleepily to see W.D.'s name on the screen, and her annoyance turned to worry. Her brother cherished sleep even more than she did and would never call this late.

"What's the matter?!" Anne cried as soon as she picked up.

"Anne, you'll never believe it!" W.D. didn't sound upset, worried, or scared. He sounded excited. "My roommate just told me about a part for a new movie that was just posted - they're looking for a pair of sibling trapeze artists, a boy and a girl! This part was practically made for us! The notice was posted by some rich actor who now wants to direct his own movie-musical…". Anne rolled her eyes and flopped back down on the bed.

"I can't believe you woke me up at-", her eyes darted toward the clock on her nightstand, " _3:05 in the morning_ for this. April Fool's was two weeks ago, W.D."

"Yeah, and you totally fell for the old "human chair" prank!" Anne could easily imagine her brother's smirk at the other end of the line. He had scared her half to death that day, sneaking into her apartment and impersonating her furniture. "But," W.D. continued, "This isn't a prank. It's the real deal. I heard that the guy already got both Jenny Lind _and_ Tom Thumb to sign on."

Anne was impressed. "What did you say this guy's name was? The movie star-turned-director?"

She heard paper shuffling around on WD's end. "Ummm….Phineas "P.T." Barnum? The name vaguely rings a bell…".

Anne sat bolt upright in her bed. If the name "vaguely rang a bell" for W.D., bells the size of Big Ben clanged for her. "Get changed, pack up anything you need to audition, and be ready to meet my cab. We _need_ to be first in line for that part tomorrow morning - er, that is, today." Anne jumped out of bed to get ready.

Started by his sister's abrupt change in demeanor, WD wasn't sure how to reply. "Right now, in the middle of the night? What's the rush?" Anne didn't reply. "Anne?" No response. "She must've hung up" WD muttered to himself. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, then went to go change and pack his things. He had no idea why his sister was suddenly so excited about this part, but her ambitious attitude and intuition in the film industry had landed both of them some nice roles in the past. He may as well go along for the ride.

* * *

6 hours earlier, singer and actress Lettie Lutz had had a late-night telephone meeting with her agent, Michael, about the same film. He was enthusiastic, both about the movie's premise and about her chances of landing a part. "There are three large female roles in the movie. Barnum's wife is played by - well, his wife, no surprise there. And there are rumors that he just snagged Jenny Lind for the part of the opera singer. But if the rumors are true, well, that's not a surprise either."

"Jenny Lind, _The Swedish Nightingale, Jenny Lind?_ " Lettie cried.

"Exciting, isn't it? And there's no person better to play an opera singer than an opera singer!" the man exclaimed.

"I'm not sure about that." Lettie was frowning. "The term _opera diva_ isn't only referring to her artistic prowess. Her temper tantrums are legendary, even in the film and pop music industries."

"I swear, Loretta, if I didn't know better, I wouldn't believe you were an actress! Where is your daring, your spontaneity, your desire to take risks?"

"Don't call me Loretta," Lettie said shortly. Somehow, Michael always managed to lead the conversation off track, and annoy her in the process. "What's the third part?"

"As part of his circus, Barnum recruits a bearded lady - an outcast, shunned by society, yet she becomes the face of the whole revolution!" he enthused. On the other end, Lettie couldn't help but smile. Sometimes Michael could be so dramatic, it was a wonder that he himself wasn't an actor. "A few large musical numbers, including a solo power ballad, decent speaking parts and screen time…".

"Well, that all sounds good."

"Great! Auditions start tomorrow - check your email for the info, and let me know afterwards how the auditions went. Ciao, Lettie!"

"Wait!" Lettie blurted out. He waited. "Well, I was wondering, the, the rumors," she stammered, "are they true?"

"Which rumors?"

"That Barnum is kinda-" she whistled and spun her finger in a circle next to her ear, though he couldn't see the gesture, - "odd."

"Most definitely."

"Oh."

"But don't worry - it still sounds like a fun project. Plus, don't forget, he's super rich to boot."

"True," she agreed. "Check in with you tomorrow."

Even if Barnum was a bit of a whack-job, and Lind was the biggest drama queen since Keira Knightley, they were both _legends_ in their art - and what was life without a little bit of craziness?

* * *

Phillip Carlyle couldn't believe his eyes. He must be seeing things - that couldn't _really_ be a royal flush hand laid out on the table there, the only thing capable of beating his straight flush. He stared at the cards in shock.

" _Ha!"_ His head snapped up to look at his friend and fellow actor George Mitchell, who slapped the table jubilantly. "I won! And now you have to pay up - get ready to try out for Barnum's train wreck of a film!" Phillip groaned. He really should know better at this point than to gamble, especially when George was involved.

"Maybe it wouldn't be so bad," Phillip said optimistically. "I mean, P.T. Barnum's name _is_ known in every entertainment circle there is."

"Yeah, 'cause he's a _whack job_! Even if he wasn't, a rich man with money to burn, directing his first-ever film, and a _musical_ at that - it can't end well."

Unfortunately, Phillip agreed with George. He sighed, shouldered his bag, and started to brace himself for what was to come. As he left, he heard George shout after him,

"Don't forget! As part of the bet, if you win the part, _you have to go through with it!"_

* * *

Phineas Taylor "P.T." Barnum surveyed the crowd with satisfaction, delight, anticipation - it was finally happening. After months of work, he was ready to begin fulfilling his dream of directing his own movie-musical. Next to him, his wife Charity bit her lip anxiously.

"What is it, dear?"

"Well - " Charity began. She stopped. How to put into words what she was feeling? "You know I support you, and I _am_ very excited about this project we're undertaking -"

"It will be magnificent!" her husband agreed.

"Yes." she took a deep breath. Some days it seemed as though her husband had the attention span of a squirrel. "It's just, no one has ever attempted what we're aiming to do, Phin. What _you're_ aiming to do. Acting just isn't the same as directing. If we crash and burn, I don't know how we'll recover." Charity was well aware of the irony of the situation. Worrying about how producing a movie - that was all about following your dreams in spite of people's prejudices - would affect their professional reputation was enough to make her head spin. But she just couldn't put her fears to bed. This was, by _far_ , the riskiest thing they had ever done. Phineas took her hand and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"You worry enough for the both of us. Take a deep breath, smile! Even if everything goes to hell, we can handle it. We always have. But it won't. Look around you, sweetheart! This is the beginning of something we've worked for for a _long time._ "

Charity did smile, in spite of herself. No matter how it ended, it would be an adventure - and Phin would be by her side through it all.


	2. Auditions (It's going to be a long year)

**Chapter One: The Auditions. (It's going to be a** _ **looong**_ **year.)**

"What do you _mean_ , I'm doing a read-through?! _I_ already have the part!" Jenny Lind exclaimed a mere two hours into the first day of tryouts. Phineas was wondering if perhaps he'd gotten himself in a little deep, signing on the famous diva for his film. Charity was wishing she hadn't agreed to let her husband hire the artist, even though she was determined not to get hung up on the rivalry she and Jenny had shared back in the day. Lettie, for her part, cut off her song and shot an annoyed glance at the titian-haired opera singer.

"It's just so that we can hear a lot of different voices in each part - to give Charity and I an idea of what we can work with, and to give the actors trying out a feel for the story," P.T. explained. He turned back to Lettie. "Please, go back to wherever you feel comfortable in the piece and continue. Although, I must say, I'm really liking what I hear so far." Lettie beamed, found her place in her music, and began to sing again.

Jenny Lind, now that she was being ignored, huffed and stomped away. P.T. spared her only the slightest of worried glances before turning his attention back to the tryout. As the last chords of Lettie's song rang out, he felt a tug on his jacket.

"I can help with the read-throughs, Daddy," whispered his older daughter, Caroline.

"Me, too!" exclaimed Helen, his younger daughter. Caroline scowled at her sister.

"You can barely read!"

"I can, too!"

Charity intervened before the squabble could erupt into a full-on argument. Lettie had been watching this interruption, not with annoyance, but with amusement. P.T. smiled.

"Thank you, girls. I know _both_ of you are going to be a huge help to me." Helen stuck her tongue out at her sister. Turning to Lettie, P.T. said, "That was excellent, Ms. Lutz. We'll be calling you back for screen-tests sometime in these next few days." As Lettie surreptitiously fist-pumped behind his back, Phineas left to check out his trapeze-artist candidates.

As aforementioned trapeze candidates Anne and W.D Wheeler performed their aerial stunts for Barnum, Phillip couldn't help but stare, transfixed. He had seen many amazing acts of entertainment in his career as an actor, but he couldn't help but be mesmerized. Off to his right, he heard a low chuckle. When he teared his eyes away from the couple, he found the woman who would later introduce herself as Lettie laughing at him.

"What?" Phillip asked, a little self-consciously.

"You like what you see, eh? That girl is quite the looker."

"Uh, um -"

"You're trying out for aristocrat that partners with the circus, aren't you? You know, if you two get the parts, she'll be the one you're falling in love with."

"That's not what - I wasn't -" Phillip stammered. Lettie smirked.

"You wouldn't be the first person to fall in love while shooting romantic scenes, hun. Don't discount it before things have a chance to start happening." Phillip finally found his voice.

"I've never even met h-her. And I'm not here for romance." Lettie sighed happily at the prospective match-making opportunity laid out before her.

"They never are, hun. They never are."

* * *

Phillip managed to compose himself somewhat before his screening in front of Barnum and his wife. One of the most famous men in Hollywood stared across his desk at Phillip.

"So, Mr…" P.T. consulted his notes, "Carlyle. What brought you here to try out for my humble film?"

Phillip shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Would you really like to know?"

"Why, sure!" Barnum exclaimed as Charity smiled and said,

"Go ahead, dear." Phillip cleared his throat.

"I lost a poker game to my buddy, George, and he dared me to try out for your movie." P.T. and his wife were silent. _Well, at least I now know for sure that I won't be sticking around for this film._ He should have been completely relieved, but he couldn't help but feel a tinge of regret, remembering how he felt watching the trapeze performers earlier. Well, one in particular...he was torn out of his startled realization by Barnum's roaring laugh.

"I love it!" Next to him, Charity was smiling and maybe rolling her eyes just a little. P.T. clapped his hand on Phillip's shoulder, who suddenly felt that he had missed something hugely important. "Tell me, son, how's your dancing?"

Phillip gulped. Somehow, he had the feeling he was getting himself into something crazy - extraordinary, magnificent, but something he was _completely, totally_ unprepared for.


	3. We have a Million Dreams

**Chapter 2: We have A Million Dreams - but first, we need to go back to English class.**

* * *

"Daddy," whispered Caroline urgently, tugging on her father's sleeve. P.T. pulled his eyes away from watching a young Charity and himself in Charity's father's home.

"Yes, what is it, sweetheart." Caroline looked worried.

"The man who plays Mom's dad, the bad man - he isn't really going to _hit_ the boy playing you, is he?" Her eyes were wide with anxiety. Phineas blanched.

" _Absolutely not,"_ he reassured his daughter. "See, have you ever heard of stage fighting?" Caroline shook her head no. "Charity's "father" will move his hand in a way so that the cameras make it _look_ like he's slapping someone, while a sound effect plays at the same time. No one will get hurt." Caroline looked immensely relieved. They both turned their attention back to the scene playing out before them. After a few moments, Caroline asked again,

"Daddy? That sort of thing _would've_ happened though, in olden times? Because the boy was poor and the girl wasn't?" Phineas closed his eyes. He knew that making a film about people overcoming society's discrimination was bound to bring up some difficult topics. However, the part of him that felt his girls would _always_ be little, no matter what, wanted to shield them from everything bad in the world.

"Yes, sweetheart. Unfortunately, that kind of thing would and did happen." Caroline nodded, and while she looked troubled, she also looked thoughtful. Conversation ended, she resumed watching the actors without saying anything else.

Phineas sighed.

* * *

A MILLION DREAMS - YOUNG PHINEAS AND CHARITY, TAKE ONE

A young Phineas led an equally young Charity by the hand to the house where the dreamed about a better future.

" _I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy…_ " he sang as the two explored the house. "' _Cause every night, I lie in bed, the brightest colors fill my head, a million dreams are keepin' me awaaake…"_ the two children laughed and danced through the old house. " _A million dreams are all it's gonna taaaake.."._

"CUT!" The soundtrack stopped, the lights went up, and the two children gave P.T. surprised looks. "It's not _a million dreams_ are _all it's gonna take,_ but, _a millions dreams_ is _all it's gonna take._ "

"Why?" Young Phineas asked curiously. P.T. waved a hand wearily.

"I don't know. English."

"You know, earlier in the song, we sing "a million dreams _are_ keeping me awake. Why isn't it the same?" Young Charity pointed out. P.T. massaged his temples. This is what he got for hiring actors he believed would think for themselves, instead of ones that would just do what he told them to.

"We're pretty sure that either one is accurate." Charity - the real one, his wife - broke in gently. "The important thing is to not get _too_ hung up on the little details - it's a long movie, and I think it's better to get the main spirit of the song across than to worry about the precise language." Charity smiled. "You're both doing great. Let's try it again, okay?"

As the two children took their marks, P.T. sent a grateful smile toward his wife. If she wasn't with him on this project, all of his actors would probably quit thanks to his stubborn personality.

The peaceful moment was broken by a little girl's scream - his younger self had somehow smuggled a _frog_ onto the set, and his costar wasn't pleased. Phineas shook his head and laughed. Maybe they would try again tomorrow.

* * *

A MILLION DREAMS - ADULT PHINEAS AND CHARITY, TAKE ONE

All grown up, an excited Phineas pulled his wife through the train station as they went to start their new life together. In his exuberance, he pulled too hard, and their linked hands sent the pair tumbling to the floor.

"A little _too_ enthusiastic, there, dear," his wife quipped. Phineas smiled.

"There's nothing more exciting than the prospect of our whole lives together, Charity," he told her, seriously. Charity beamed. Even after all these years, Phineas knew how to make her melt.

The moment was broken by gagging sounds just off-set. The couple turned to see their young counterparts making grossed-out laughed.

"Oh, just you wait, kids! In a few years, you won't feel that way…"

TAKE TWO

" _I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see,"_ Phineas twirled Charity around and around in the train station. As a matter of fact, though, he couldn't see anything. There was too much smoke. Soon he and Charity could barely see each other and came to a stumbling stop.

"CUT! We need to dial down the smoke machine!" he hollered to the special effects crew. One of the technicians frowned.

"I'm not sure we ever turned it on!" Charity burst out laughing. Phineas supposed that was better than her killing him for dumping her on the floor, _again._

* * *

TAKE THREE

This time, the smoke machine was working how it was supposed to. " _A million dreams are all it's gonna taaake-_ Oh, shoot!"

"You said 'are'!" crowed the boy playing his younger self from off the set.

"Yeah, yeah, kid. Rub it in."

* * *

TAKE FOUR

" _And a million dreams, for the world we're gonna make."_ Phineas spun around and

ended on bended knee, ring box outstretched. Then, every smoke alarm in the building went off. The shrieks of the cast and crew - especially Jenny Lind's screeching shriek, she really didn't have a nice voice when she wasn't singing - could be heard when the sprinkler systems went off, soaking everyone and everything.

"You know, this reminds of me of when you proposed in real life!" Charity laughed. Phineas threw up his hands in exasperation.


	4. We Come Alive

A/N: Special thanks to my first reviewers and followers: Red-Wayne-Hood, Anna Mollen, A-Glittering-Star-Night and reneparanoiaxx. It means a lot, you guys. ENJOY!

 **Chapter 3: We Come Alive - let's just hope we don't die in the process.**

FINDING CURIOSITIES, TAKE ONE

P.T. Barnum walked up the path to the house where the man who would become General Tom Thumb lived. Before he could even reach the door, he tripped and fell flat on his face. Tom Thumb's Mother opened the door and looked at him, perplexed.

"What on earth did you trip on?"

"A rock," Phineas lied. She raised an eyebrow.

"On a fake path?" Phineas blushed.

"Okay, no. I'm a klutz, alright?"

"That's for sure." Phineas whipped his head around. It wasn't the woman who had spoken, but Phillip, standing just off set and smirking at the proceedings.

"Why are you even here? You don't even exist yet," Phineas grunted as he got up. As he looked at Phillip's laughing face, his exasperation turned into a devious smirk. "You know, you shouldn't laugh. You and I have a ridiculously choreographed dance scene - your _first_ scene, I might add."

Phillip paled

* * *

TAKE TWO

"People will come from all over the world to see him, and when they see him, they won't laugh." P.T. said to Tom's closed door. The door opened and Tom stared at Barnum. "They'll salute."

Once the cameras stopped rolling, Tom turned to P.T. and said, "You know, earlier, you said they _would_ laugh."

"What?"

" _They'll be laughing anyway, kid, so you may as well get paid,"_ Tom lowered his voice to mimic Barnum's. P.T. scowled.

"I don't sound anything like that!"

"Oh, I don't know, I thought it was pretty good!" Charity observed from off the set. Tom stuck out his tongue at Phineas, who rolled his eyes.

"You're supposed to be on my side, Charity!"

Phineas, Lettie, and a disgruntled Jenny sat offset doing a read through of the scene where Barnum discovers the Bearded Lady.

"Do I really need to be here? It's one line, for goodness' sake!" Jenny complained. Phineas didn't blink.

"Yup." He cleared his throat. "Hello."

"Sir, you shouldn't be here." Jenny read in a bored voice.

"I'm sorry, who's doing that singing?" P.T. continued, undaunted. "It's you, isn't it?"

"Sir, I'll have to ask you to leave," Lettie replied, nervously. The reading continued, uninterrupted, until -

"I would even say, beautiful." Jenny burst out laughing. Lettie scowled.

"You don't need to overdo it. The script says the women only laugh a little."

"But, come on!" she gave Lettie a once-over. "Beautiful? Couldn't you have chosen an actress that was at least _slightly_ better looking for the part?" P.T.'s mouth dropped open in shock. Off to the side, where his wife had been daydreaming, her head snapped toward Jenny in a furious glare. And Lettie hurriedly got to her feet and rushed out.

"Lettie, wait -" P.T. made to go after her, but not before fixing Jenny with a severe look. "Another stunt like that, you're off the project. I don't care how famous you are. You _will_ apologize to Lettie later." He hurried out of the room. Jenny gasped, affronted, as Charity was hot on her husband's heels.

"Lettie, wait up! Don't be upset -" he began, reaching for the actress's arm. Lettie cut him off.

"I'm not. Well, not much." She had been called much worse, by people whose opinions mattered much more to her than Jenny Lind's. "I'm angry, not hurt. Mostly I rushed out so I wouldn't slap her." Phineas blinked in surprise. Lettie raised an eyebrow. "We aren't the characters you wrote for us, Barnum."

"Fair enough," P.T. conceded. "I appreciate your restraint."

"Well, _I_ don't," Charity's voice sounded from the landing above them, where she had retreated to give her husband and Lettie some privacy. Her head poked out over the balcony. "Next time, you could at least pull her hair a little or something." Lettie laughed.

"There won't _be_ a next time," Phineas growled, rushing off. The two women exchanged appraising looks.

* * *

The circus performers made a long line before the table where P.T. Barnum would sit while the lights and sound crews raced around making adjustments.

"It's kind of trippy," the World's Heaviest Man said, glancing around.

"What do you mean?" one of the Albino Sisters asked politely.

"Well, we all had to audition for this film, in real life, for Barnum. And now we're standing in line again, so that our _characters_ can audition for Barnum. It's kind of like - have you ever had a dream where you woke up and went about your day, and then you woke up for real? It's kind of like that." The other actors in line laughed as Barnum raced in.

"Okay, gang, since I don't want things to appear too scripted and it should be fairly straightforward to tell me what your acts are, we're going to try improvising in this scene. Just go with what feels natural, okay?" Seeing nods from all the actors, Barnum rubbed his hands together. "Excellent!"

* * *

AUDITIONS, TAKE ONE

"And...this is over...your...", Barnum began, waving his hand to implicate what he meant by "this".

"Entire body" finished the World's Hairiest Man, nodding.

"Terrific. I don't, I don't need to see it."

The others in line, who hadn't known what to expect, burst out laughing while the World's Hairiest Man looked startled. Eventually though, he started smiling, and soon he was laughing just as uncontrollably as the others. Once everyone had calmed down, P.T. straightened up and said, "See, this is why improv is great! We're definitely keeping that one."

* * *

TAKE TWO

"Anne and W.D. Wheeler..." Barnum pretended to read from his notes. He looked up, only to realize the sibling duo wasn't standing before him. "What the - where are they?"

The other actors exchanged looks and shrugged.

"Sorry, so sorry!" Anne gasped, running in. W.D. and, for some reason, Phillip, were hot on her heels. "W. been helping Phillip and I rehearse 'Rewrite the Stars' this morning, since, you know, Phillip is new to the trapeze. But something went wrong with the pulleys. W.D. and Phillip were stuck up there together for, like, an hour. I only just figured out how to get them down."

"Well, that shouldn't've happened," P.T. frowned. "We'll be sure to check all the equipment out before anyone else goes up. Are you three all right?" Seeing nods, P.T. continued,

"Well, you two go get changed for this scene and Phillip, I'll see you in rehearsal for 'The Other Side' in an hour or two." Phillip nodded and the Wheeler siblings went to go change. P.T. turned back to his notes. "Okay, since we may be waiting on them a bit, Dog Boy, you can go next…".

Off set, Lettie suppressed a groan of frustration. She hadn't counted on W.D. helping with rehearsals - Phillip and _Anne_ were supposed to be up there alone, _together_ , so that they could bond and fall in love. Then again, she should count herself lucky that that was the only thing that went wrong. No one would've been in true danger, with all of the nets and fire mattresses in the rehearsal space, but Barnum would've been on the warpath had anything bad happened and he found out she orchestrated the scenario. She would have to try again - maybe something a little less complicated, this time.

* * *

TAKE THREE

Dog Boy, wanting to be spontaneous, leapt up onto the table like - well, like, an excited puppy, really. Barnum wasn't expecting anything of the sort and promptly fell out of his chair in shock. Once again, the other actors dissolved into laughter. Before the embarrassed actor could apologize, Barnum shouted, "That was _great_!" from his position on the floor. He popped up to look out over the table with a crazy grin. "Let's do that again!"

* * *

TAKE FOUR

When they did it again, an observing Charity remarked,

"You know, dear, the high five wasn't invented until much later in time." Phineas sighed.

"Why is it, when I want to keep things realistic, people get upset? And then when I _don't_ , people complain?"

"Two reasons," his wife replied. "Number one, you know the critics love to pick on the smallest details. And number two, because your idea of 'realistic' often means 'dangerous.' Like, you don't want Anne and Phillip to have a net when you film 'Rewrite the Stars'!"

Sitting near Charity, Phillip looked up from his script in shock.

" _What?"_

* * *

"Barnum!" The man in question choked on his coffee. He turned around expecting to see his irate wife, assuming she had found out about some of his more... _risky_...ideas. Instead, he found an upset Anne Wheeler standing before him.

"What?" he asked nervously. He wasn't in the mood for yet _another_ conversation about using a net in 'Rewrite the Stars'.

"Why am I not dancing in 'Come Alive?'" the actress/singer/dancer/trapeze artist cried. Barnum's mind took a little bit of time to catch up. "I've been in the rehearsals for _hours_ for that scene!"

"Yes, well, once Charity and I saw everything come together, we decided it would be a better visual to have you and W.D. up in the hoops. Speaking of which, I had all of the aerial equipment checked out. Every piece was fine; I think either you or W.D must have just set something up incorrectly." Anne bit her lip. Everyone made mistakes, of course, but she would have to be extra careful next time. One of them could have gotten hurt had things gone differently. Remembering the real topic at hand, she pouted,

"I was _really_ looking forward to doing some more dancing in this role." Barnum replied,

"I know, and you will. You'll dance in 'The Greatest Show' and 'This is Me'." Anne nodded.

"That's fine, I guess. Oh, and "From Now On" is going to be really great, too." P.T. winced.

"Yeah, it will, but...you'renotdancinginthatoneeither" he rushed out.

" _What?!"_

"The man who ran into a building burning, risking his life because he believed yours was in danger, is in a coma from smoke inhalation. And you are by his side, having realized that you cannot live without him and praying that he wakes up," he stated calmly. Anne sighed.

"Fine." Actress appeased, P.T. returned to his lunch. Not five minutes had passed when -

" _Barnum!"_ This time, some of the coffee made it up his nose. Coughing, P.T. turned to see Anne _again_ , brown eyes flashing angrily. What could she possibly have gotten angry about in the past _two minutes?_ "What is this I hear about not having a net during 'Rewrite the Stars?!'" she shouted.

P.T. groaned.

* * *

Lettie was sneaking around, trying to scout out the perfect spot to force - I mean - _encourage_ Anne and Phillip along in their romance when she nearly stumbled upon Lind and Barnum in a private corner. Eyes widening, she sincerely hoped that it was not what it looked like as she ducked into a nearby alcove.

-"completely unacceptable," Barnum was saying to Lind, and he sounded... _angry?_ That was something she hadn't seen hardly at all during her (admittedly short) time working with him. Not even when Caroline accidentally let an elephant free. Not even when the crew stole all of his top hats and hid them in random places. Not even when Phillip superglued his hand to the bar while the pair was rehearsing 'The Other Side' so that the actor could have a much needed break.

At any rate, this didn't sound like the typical dialogue between a man and his mistress, so Lettie quietly let out the breath she'd been holding and tuned back in.

-"will not tolerate you treating _anyone_ with such disrespect." Barnum finished. Lind gasped dramatically.

"I can't believe you're defending her!" Lettie rolled her eyes. Maybe Lind was a drama queen _and_ a bimbo - of course Barnum wouldn't tolerate anyone bothering his wife! But then she continued, "What, you have a crush on that lady or something?" and Lettie frowned, confused. A crush on his wife? That didn't make any sense.

"On _Lettie?_ " Barnum said, confused. Lettie realized they weren't talking about Charity

and Lind's history at all, but in fact the incident that had happened that morning. She flushed with pleasure as she realized that _she_ had been the one Barnum was defending - not because she liked him in any romantic way, God no, but because...it was sort of like...Lettie couldn't quite place it. Then she realized. It was what a family member might do. Lost in thought, she nearly missed the next part of the conversation.

"I know you've been famous for a long time, and that some of these actors are still up-and-coming, but - I mean, jeez, Jenny, do you realize the irony here? This film I'm making here, it's all about accepting people _despite_ the fact that they're different, no matter where they come from or what they look like or what they do - just who they are! And if you keep treating all of your colleagues like dirt - because that's what they _are_ , Jenny, they are your _equals_ \- you'll be off this project faster than you can say 'circus peanuts'. I wanted to meld circus acts, theatre music, and opera together, but the well-being of the cast and the project comes first."

Lost in her delight at how thoroughly Barnum was dressing Lind down, Lettie nearly had a heart attack when a voice whispered in her ear,

"Enjoying the show?" Stifling a gasp, she whirled around to see Charity, equally pleased with the proceedings and - Lettie had to suppress a laugh at this - recording the opera singer's plight with her iPhone. Charity laughed quietly.

"This is entertaining enough that it could go in Phin's circus!" Watching the opera diva begin yet another tantrum, Lettie had to agree.

* * *

COME ALIVE, TAKE ONE

" _You stumble through your days,"_ P.T. sang, " _Got your head hung low, your sky's a shade of grey"_ , he snapped his fingers. Not one of the posters unfurled. When he turned to the set people for an explanation, he found that it was - yet another - equipment malfunction. "Why doesn't everything ever work properly around here," Barnum grumbled.

* * *

TAKE TWO

" _Your sky's a shade of grey,"_ Barnum tried again. This time, the posters unrolled exactly on cue. "That was perfect! Good work, crew!"

Said crew exchanged nervous looks and timidly edged away from the controls. They had thought Barnum was just doing a run through - not shooting for real - and as such, hadn't touched anything.

* * *

TAKE THREE

"Tom! Up, up!" P.T. exclaimed, lifting the diminutive man onto the horse. " _I can see it in your eyes! You believe that lie, that you need to hide your face. Afraid to step outside, so you lock the door, but don't you stay that way!"_ he slapped the horse harder than he intended. Naturally, the horse went berserk. Tom shrieked and only just managed not to be thrown off.

" _No more livin' in those shadows,"_ Lettie began uncertainly, but the show must go on, after all, " _You and me, we know how -"_ she winced as the horse finally threw Tom off. The actor groaned. "Are you okay?"

"Sure he's okay!" Barnum said brightly. "Back to one, eh, Tom?"

" _NO._ I am taking a break, right here, and if you try to stop me, the next time the horse goes rampaging, I will steer it _towards you!_ " Barnum cleared his throat as Lettie laughed.

"Take five, everyone!"

* * *

TAKE FOUR

" _Hey!"_ Barnum exclaimed indignantly as he picked up the newspaper that had just been tossed onto his desk. Rather than reading _THE BARNUM MUSEUM - A Primitive Circus of Humbug_ it read instead _BARNUM'S NEW MOVIE - GENIUS OR TRAINWRECK?._ Below the headline was a surprisingly comprehensive description of the many, _many_ things that hadn't gone according to plan since they started filming. He rolled his eyes at the high-fiving Phillip and Lettie and hid a smile. "You know," he remarked, dryly, "If you two spent half as much time _rehearsing_ as you do thinking up elaborate jokes and pranks, this list would be about half the size that it is."

* * *

The Lead Protestor frowned down at his script. "I don't like this, Barnum. I know it's period accurate, and I realize I am an actor, but do we really have to spit at them and shove them around like that?" P.T. sighed.

"I know it's uncomfortable, but I think it's really important that _some_ realistic discrimination is shown in the movie. Sure, it's meant to be family friendly for the most part, but if no one showed the uncomfortable or bad parts of history...well, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Today's generations need to remember, at least a little, how things used to be. How things still are, in some places. 'White washing' isn't exactly the term I'm looking for, but you know what I mean. I won't completely sugarcoat history."

The Lead Protestor nodded in acceptance.

* * *

TAKE FIVE

Charity and the girls watched with delight as Phineas and his circus members performed 'Come Alive'. You could just _feel_ the joy and passion rolling off of everyone in waves. Whatever else happened, Charity was glad Phin had dragged her along on this crazy ride. She smiled as she watched Caroline and Helen, unable to help themselves, danced along to the music. It was a nice touch. And she couldn't help but laugh when, as Phin slid across the dirt floor, she narrowly missed being taken out by the girls' enthusiastic jumping. She finally gave in to the impulse and danced, too - how could you not?


	5. We see the Other Side

A/N 1: Thank you so much to my new supporters, DC Watchergirl and upwiththebirds33, as well as all my previous supporters. Enjoy!

A/N 2: Virtual circus peanuts are yours if you can find the (admittedly very obscure) T.V. reference in this chapter!

 **We see the Other Side (NOW FEATURING SPECIAL GUEST STARS Horse Stampedes, Matchmaking, and Claustrophobia)**

* * *

"But, Daddy! I thought you wanted things to be _realistic_?" Caroline Barnum complained. Phineas had been lost in his musings, trying to figure out a way to get Charity on board with fireworks indoors. Now, though, he turned his attention to his older daughter.

That's right, Pumpkin! It's important to go the extra mile, to pay attention to the fine details!" he exclaimed cheerfully. Caroline folded her arms across her chest.

"Well, this time you've missed a lot of the 'fine details'. First of all, every ballerina has to get her pointe shoes specially fitted, so you couldn't just surprise me with a pair and have them fit perfectly! Plus, no ballerina could get up on pointe after only, what, a couple of months of training? You have to be dancing for years, and _then_ you have to take at least a year of pre-pointe classes, so to have my character start right away when she's never even danced at all…" Caroline trailed off, seeing that she'd lost her father's attention. " _Daddy!_ "

Phineas looked up abruptly from his schematics. "What? Don't worry about the dancing scenes, sweetheart! You'll do wonderfully!" And he went back to poring over his notes. Caroline sighed in frustration.

"Don't worry, dear," her mother said, coming up behind her. "For whatever reason, your father is _very_ specific in some details, and utterly ignorant of others. And," Charity added, seeing Caroline's displeasure, "Just think about the pretty tutus you get to wear!"

Caroline brightened. Across the room, her younger sister, Helen, scowled from where she was playing with a dollhouse - the same one that would be gifted to her in the movie, in fact.

"Daddy, why can't I have a bigger part in your movie? I can dance as good as Caroline!"

"No you can't!"

"Can too!"

"Not on pointe!" Charity quickly intervened before the argument could get too out of hand.

"Girls, please. Helen, you're not in this movie very much because of your school schedule. Caroline is home-schooled right now so that she can focus on ballet, you know that. Caroline, please don't antagonize your sister." The girls sighed and grumbled a little, but left each other alone. Charity sighed in relief. Phin looked up abruptly - _just in time for the conflict to be over_ , Charity thought ruefully, and said,

"Don't worry, Helen, Caroline. In my _next_ movie, _both_ of you girls will have big parts." The girls beamed, but Charity couldn't stop a shiver from running down her spine at the words 'next movie'. They needed to survive _this_ movie first.

Phillip frowned. Why was his top hat in a _supply closet_ , of all places? Maybe the crew had taken it by mistake that time they had stolen all of Barnum's. He raised an eyebrow as he picked up the purple sparkly leotard lying next to his hat. _That_ certainly wasn't his - at least, he hoped it wasn't. Barnum could be a little _spontaneous_ when it came to wardrobe. He jumped as he heard someone clear his throat behind him. He turned to face Anne and she snickered,

"Either you found my leotard, or Barnum got a little creative in his costuming choices again!"

"Hopefully the first one - though I don't know how this stuff ended up in here. It's really weird."

"Yeah, I wonder what that's about?" Anne frowned. Neither one noticed Lettie sneaking up behind them and slamming the closet door shut. "What the -" Anne tried the door, "It's locked!" Phillip missed the level of panic in her voice. He called out,

"Hello? We're locked in here!"

"I know!" a voice answered back. _Lettie's_ voice. Oh, jeez. "And you'll be there for a while! You lovebirds need some time to bond!" Phillip groaned.

"We don't like each other in that way, Lettie!" No reply. "Lettie?" Nothing. "Dammit!" Phillip exclaimed. He turned to Anne. "I swear, I didn't give her any - Anne, what's the matter?" The actress was slumped to the floor, eyes wide, hyperventilating.

"Oh, my God, there's not enough air in here, oh, God, oh, God" she whimpered. _Oh, boy_. Phillip swallowed hard. He supposed it made some sort of sense that someone who loved flying through the air, in wide open spaces, might be claustrophobic. He quickly moved next to her.

"Breathe, Anne. Just breathe."

"Can't-" she gasped. Phillip thought quickly.

"Anne, do you remember the other day, when we were rehearsing 'Rewrite the Stars', and W.D. was helping us? Before we got tangled up in the ropes and I was terrified to get up in the air, do you remember what he said to me?"

"He said…" Anne paused, still breathing too quickly but searching her memory, "he said - that your body was lying to you. That it was telling you that you were in danger even though you were safe."

"That's what's happening right now. Deep breath, Anne." She obeyed. Good. "There's plenty of air in here," Phillip soothed, "Even if we were in here for a while, there would be. But we won't be, because pretty soon someone will come looking for us to rehearse and film. Lettie will have to let us out, then. Keep breathing." She did. Phillip cast his mind around for a distraction. "You should think about something else until then. Um...want to play 20 Questions?" Anne smiled weakly.

"Sure."

"Hmmm... I'm thinking of a vegetable." Anne raised an eyebrow, she was pretty sure that wasn't how you played 20 Questions. But she played along.

"Rutabaga," she replied, picking the most random vegetable she could think of. She was surprised to see Phillip scowl.

"I hate you." Anne laughed. It was a choked sort of laugh, but Phillip was encouraged. "Actually, I have a better idea," he said, suddenly, "Instead of playing 20 Questions, we should be plotting how to get revenge on Lettie!" The pair exchanged identical evil grins.

* * *

Relaxing in the lounge, Lettie paused from reading her magazine as she felt a shiver run down her spine. She looked around, and, seeing nothing of concern, shrugged. It was probably nothing.

* * *

THE NEW HOUSE, TAKE ONE

Charity giggled. "Don't you think there's enough blind trust in my life?" The girls gasped in awe at the grand manor house that would become their new home. They pushed open the doors, and Phineas gave the girls their presents.

"This is the life I promised you." He took Charity in his arms and offered his hand. "Shall we?"

The couple danced around and it was bliss - for approximately two seconds. It all came to an end when Phineas heard the carriage driver shout an alarm. He ran outside and just barely missed being stampeded by three animal wranglers, two upset horses, and the carriage driver. _And a partridge in a pear tree_ , he thought, laughing to himself. "Good thing we didn't use real zebras, huh? Of course, they were too expensive, anyway," he commented to his wife. Charity chuckled nervously.

"Right, yes, that was why," she murmured. The truth was, while she and her husband certainly _could_ afford to rent zebras for the shoot - many, in fact - she had lost interest when in her research she found that a zebra can kick a lion with enough force to break its jaw. She wasn't in the habit of deceiving her husband - actually, she preferred to think of it has gently leading him in a different direction - but watching the chaos in front of her, she knew she had made the right decision. Her mood only brightened when she heard Jenny's enraged shriek in the distance:

" _AAUUUGGGHH!_ I JUST STEPPED IN _HORSE EXCREMENT!"_

Charity rolled her eyes even as she burst out laughing. Only Jenny would be prissy enough to say 'excrement' instead of 'poop'.

* * *

Once the horses - and Jenny - were calmed down, preparations began for 'The Other Side'. P.T. was heading into wardrobe when one of the make up artists stopped him. "Mr. Barnum, sir, Mr. Carlyle hasn't reported to wardrobe or make up yet. Do you know where he is?" P.T. frowned.

"That's odd. No, I don't know where he is." He went to the set, where much of the cast was lazing around until the action began again. "Anyone seen Phillip around? We need to get ready for our next scene, and he hasn't reported to wardrobe." He saw Lettie smirk at him from over another magazine.

"Oh, I locked him and Anne into a supply closet for a while. Those two lovebirds need to bond!"

Nearby, W.D. dropped his phone with a _clunk_.

" _What?!_ " Lettie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, _relax_. We know Phillip's a good guy. He won't do anything Anne doesn't - _ow,_ slow down!" He had taken her by the arm and was attempting to sprint out of the room as fast as possible. Watching the pair make a hasty retreat he turned back to the stupefied cast.

"Well...guess we'll keep getting ready and wait for them to get Phillip from...somewhere."

* * *

"Wheeler", Lettie gasped as she attempted to keep up with the man's long strides, "You are completely overreacting!" _At least he let go of my arm_ , she thought ruefully. Perhaps this hadn't been such a capital idea.

"I'm not overreacting!" W.D. exclaimed, pausing to turn and look at Lettie head-on. "Anne's _extremely_ claustrophobic, Lettie." Lettie paled drastically and cursed.

"I had no idea, I swear! I was just trying to have a bit of fun." W.D. nodded distractedly. He was upset, and probably angry, but Lettie knew that at the moment he was more focused on getting to his sister as soon as possible. The other shoe would drop later.

Soon they reached the supply closet. The pair could hear quiet conversation inside.

"Anne! Phillip!" The conversation stopped.

"W.D.?!"

"Lettie locked us in here!" W.D. glared at the woman in question.

"I _know_." Lettie gulped. W.D. unlocked the closet door and let the pair out. He hugged his sister tightly and actually began to pat Anne down worriedly before she stopped him.

"W.D., W.D., it's okay. I'm okay. I was totally freaked, but Phillip managed to calm me down."

Phillip grinned at the man a little hesitantly from where he'd stood, off to the side to give the siblings a bit of privacy, and received a warm smile in return. Then, in eery unison, the three actors turned to stare at Lettie. She turned and apologized profusely to all three of them, and especially to Anne. After they had all (more or less) accepted (Anne had to elbow her brother), and after Lettie had left, W.D. turned back to Anne and Phillip.

"Before we go back, I'm curious, how did you calm her down? And what are we going to do about Lettie? I mean, we _are_ going to do something, right?" Anne and Phillip grinned at each other and began to explain. By the end, all three of them were smirking.

* * *

Heading back to the set, Lettie felt another odd chill run down her spine. She shook her head to herself. The air conditioning here really needed to be fixed.

* * *

THE OTHER SIDE, TAKE ONE

"Present legitimate acts," Barnum was saying to Phillip, "Expand our appeal, go after the snobs."

"If you only knew how _suffocating_ they are."

"So come join - _aack!_ " Phineas broke off in the middle of his line as he choked on a peanut.

"Very smooth, Barnum. Very smooth," Phillip said, laughing, as he pounded the man on the back.

" _Shut up_ ," Barnum rasped.

* * *

TAKE TWO

"You just might find yourself a free man," Barnum told Phillip as the music began to fade in. Both men raised a shot glass to their lips. The former drained his glass with satisfaction while the other spat his out in surprise.

"That was _real whiskey_!" Phillip exclaimed after he'd stopped coughing.

"Yeah, I filled them up after the first take. I figured, why not really drink while we shoot this scene?" Phillip chuckled in spite of himself.

"Sure, okay, but you're not going to do that for all of them, right?"

"Well, we could! Why not?" Phillip blanched.

"Why n - Barnum, are you serious?" Phineas looked confused.

"Uhhh…"

"We drink like _fifteen_ shots in this scene!"

"Well-"

"And that's assuming we get it right the _first time!_ "

"Okay, okay, jeez. I see your point. I just thought it'd be interesting."

 _That's one word for it._ Phillip thought wryly.*

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _And if it's crazy, live a little crazy…_ " Barnum tossed the liquor bottle to the bartender without looking.

 _CRASH!_

"Whoops!"

From her place off set, Charity sighed in exasperation. Why had she agreed to this scene, again?

* * *

Both men were taking a much-needed break. They had made it through the first part of the song (including the 27 takes needed for Barnum to flip a coin to the bartender in a perfect arc) and were resting before tackling Philip's verse of the song. Said man was still chuckling about the (multiple) mishaps that occurred while Phineas was trying to dance on the table-top. The older man rolled his eyes.

"You realize there's _no_ chance, none at _all_ , that you're going to be able to shoot this next part in one take? Yes, I admit, you're a better dancer than me. But there's no way you can leap up onto a bar-top using a sideways stool, do a jig, dance across it while someone moves obstacles out of the way, and leap down using _another_ stool all in one go." Philip only smirked at him.

"Well, I'll enjoy proving you wrong, then!" Instead of annoyance, Barnum's only reply was a raised eyebrow. The sight made Phillip rather nervous. Anything could happen after the Raised Eyebrow.

"If you're truly so confident, why don't we put a little wager on it? I say 50 bucks you fall flat on your face the first take." Phillip relaxed. Was that all? A bet wasn't so bad... _except that gambling is what got you into this mess in the first place_ , the little nagging voice in his head reminded him. He shook it off. This job was insane, frustrating, and exhausting, but he had over time gained a makeshift family in the cast and crew. Not to mention one special person in particular...he swallowed hard as the memory of what they had done together last night came back to him.

"Phillip?" The young man returned to himself, clearing his throat and trying not to blush.

"Sorry. Drifted off there. I'll take that bet."

The two men smirked at each other as they shook hands.

* * *

LATER…

" _You superglued me to the bar?!"_

"Technically, no. I put superglue on the bar. You jumped on the bar." It was a few moments before the stunned actor could reply.

"I am _not_ paying you 50 dollars for this!"

"Oh, Phillip, Phillip, Phillip, it was never about the bet. It was about revenge...dish best served cold, yada, yada, etcetera." P.T. looped the scarf he was wearing around his neck and made to walk away.

"Are you serious?" Phineas kept walking.

" _Come back here!_ "

* * *

* While alcoholism is a disease and not something to be ashamed of, I want to be clear that I am not portraying Barnum as a man who can down a ridiculous amount of shots in a few minutes. Rather, I think he's the type to not really think things all the way through - such as how _completely impossible_ it'd be to do almost anything - never mind dance - after consuming that much alcohol!


	6. We laugh, we protest, we fall

**We laugh, we choke, we fall, we protest, we plot. But we don't get to the 'Never Enough' scene, because God forbid the 'easy' scenes to film actually go smoothly.**

* * *

A/N 1: Sorry for the (very, very) late update. College courses are killing me, as usual. It's hard to find the time, or the inspiration. If you're still reading this story, I really hope you enjoy! And special thanks to my newest supporter, emajank!

A/N 2: ✢ A demihemidemihemisemiquaver is a 1/256th note in orchestral music. To my knowledge, there aren't any in the soundtrack of the Greatest Showman - or in any modern piece today. As a musician I simply found the concept very amusing, especially because it seems to be the sort of thing Barnum would do simply for the sake of making things more difficult.

* * *

"Mr. Barnum, have you given any thought to my request for more screen time?" W.D. asked the man. Maybe it was greedy, but it was hard not to want more when you saw the movie coming together, piece by piece, into something amazing. Barnum looked up from yet another stack of paperwork.

"First of all, for the millionth time, you can call me Phineas. Or P.T. Or, I suppose, as Anne and Lettie do, 'Hey, you, Barnum!'. W.D. chuckled. "As for your screen time, I'll let you know if I think of something, but as you can imagine, most of the film is already planned out. Sorry." W.D. nodded slowly. He could see that. But then, inspiration struck him.

"What about Anne and Phillip's romance - in the movie, I mean," he added hastily.

"What about it?"

"Well, Anne doesn't let me do it anymore, but back in the days when she had her first boyfriends, you know, I felt it was my responsibility to have a 'friendly chat' with them." The words _friendly chat_ were in finger quotes. Phineas chuckled.

"I see your point, but I didn't think that an African American man in the mid 1800's could bring himself to confront a rich, privileged white man, no matter how much he loved his sister." He raised an eyebrow at W.D., who looked a little startled.

"I never thought of that! In fact, just glaring at him would have pushed the envelope…", W.D. mused, half to Phineas and half to himself. He turned to back to his director/co star. "Well, thank you anyway, Mr. Barnum." He started to walk out before Phineas called him back.

"Hey, wait a second, W.D. How's your stage fighting?" W.D. blinked.

"I have some experience, but I'd probably need more training to do something really complicated."

"Well, I don't think this would be too difficult. I was trying to think of a reason why the circus would be set on fire, and I'm thinking that maybe there could be a sort of brawl between the performers and the protestors. You can throw the first punches, if you want." W.D. fist-pumped.

"Thanks, Mr. Bar - I mean, P.T." Phineas smiled and waved him out.

A few steps down the hall, W.D. paused. " _I was trying to think of a reason why the circus would be set on fire..."_ Surely he didn't mean that literally, right? He glanced back at P.T.'s office door. He started to turn back, then hesitated. _Do I really want to know?_ Maybe it was better if he didn't. And Charity wouldn't let Barnum do something _that_ stupid and dangerous.

Probably.

* * *

"We don't want you in our city!"

"Go home, you freaks!"

" _Freaks!"_

Charity watched her husband film some footage of the protesters outside the circus. He was sulking.

"Dear, we are not using real fire for the torches. It's an unnecessary risk for something that can be easily and realistically added post-production."

"It would be fine!" her husband protested for at least the fifth time. "Nothing would go wrong!" Charity rolled her eyes.

"You jinx the entire thing when you say stuff like that." She turned her attention to the group of extras that would be the nobility in the Buckingham Palace scene. "Makeup starts at 4, wardrobe a couple of hours later, or whenever they're ready for you. We may do one or two more run-throughs before then, so keep on an eye on your phones, and - PHINEAS TAYLOR BARNUM, you put down that lighter _RIGHT NOW!"_

Sitting nearby, Lettie looked up from her latest magazine in admiration. "Dang, that woman's got a pair of lungs on her!" She then watched with amusement as Charity pried the lighter out of a (protesting) Barnum's hands. She had never seen a grown man _pout_ before.

* * *

BUCKINGHAM PALACE, TAKE ONE

"...and I've heard all about your little colonel from my friends in America," the Queen was saying to Barnum, his circus troupe, and the crowd of nobles.

" _General,_ ma'am!" Tom Thumb said indignantly, stepping out from behind P.T.

"You're even smaller than I imagined!" the Queen said, surprised.

"Well, you're not exactly reaching the top shelf yourself, sweetheart." The crowd gasped. A stunned silence fell. The Queen put one hand to her chest in surprise as Barnum's mouth dropped open slightly. And then:

" _Auahh-ha-ha-ha"_ \- the Queen's Snooty Aristocratic Laugh™ was cut off as everyone in the room burst out laughing.

"CUT!" Charity shouted from her place in the directors' chair. "Nobility, you're laughing way too early. You need to leave a few more moments for the Queen's laughter to sink in. Circus people, you need to be way more subdued. One of your family members insulted the most important person in the world and got away by the skin of his teeth." Everyone was struggling to stop laughing.

"That might be the most ridiculous sound I've ever heard," Anne giggled.

"Which is the point," Lettie agreed, snickering, "but how can you not laugh at that?" Charity couldn't help but smile.

"I see what you mean. Let's just try again."

* * *

TAKE TWO

"...not exactly reaching the top shelf yourself, sweetheart."

"..."

" _Auahh-ha-ha-ha, auahh-ha-ha-ha"_ \- the Queen broke off as she saw the smiles the circus troupe were trying - and failing - to hide. "I don't think this scene works if you're smiling, guys."

"No, it doesn't," Charity agreed, shaking her head. "Back to one!"

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _Auahh-ha-ha-_ ACK!" the Queen broke off coughing. "Sorry. That sound is pretty hard on my throat."

"Can we get a glass of water here, please?"

* * *

TAKE TWELVE

" _Auahh-ha-ha-ha -_ heeheehee" the Queen giggled, unable to keep a straight face herself after several failed takes. The rest of the crowd quickly dissolved into laughter as well.

"Alright, guys. It's time for your best poker faces," Barnum said good-naturedly. "Pretend Lettie's about to clean you out in a card game once again!" There was only more laughter at that remark.

"Once aga-? Barnum, I do not always _clean people out_ _of their money_ when we play cards."

" _Yes, you do!_ " at least a dozen voices chorused. Lettie scowled.

* * *

"Barnum, what the hell do you call this?" A finger jabbed angrily at the musical score. Phineas peered down at it, then smiled brightly.

"That's a demisemihemidemisemiquaver."✢

"…"

"What?"

" _WHY?_ "

"Why not?"

After several long seconds, the stunned musician threw up his hands in his exasperation and stormed out of Phineas' office. Charity didn't look up from her paperwork but remarked,

"You know, dear, it would be nice if if we didn't tempt the musicians into quitting before they've even begun. And by _we_ , I mean _you_.

* * *

Lettie looked up as Anne wandered into the lounge. "Anyone seen W.D.? I need to give him his keys, but I haven't seen him yet today." Lettie shook her head.

"Sorry, Anne. I haven't seen him around. Anyone else?" Imelda*, one of the Albino Twins, and Charles both shook their heads no. Jenny ignored them all, as usual.

"Weird." Anne flopped down on the couch next to Lettie.

"What's weird about it?" Lettie asked.

"Well…", Anne paused. "I guess nothing's _specifically_ weird about it. It just seems that I can never find him lately, and that's really odd when we're working on the same set."

"New girlfriend, maybe? Maybe he's - hey, come on, get your own snacks, girl!" Lettie exclaimed good-naturedly as Anne stole some of the pretzels she'd been eating. Nearby, Jenny sniffed as she finally looked up from tapping on her phone.

"I never eat carbs, you know. Straight sugar." Anne and Lettie just stared.

"Uh-huh…", Anne said slowly. _Explains why she's in a bad mood all the time._ She turned back to Lettie. "I guess he could have a girlfriend. In all his past relationships, though, I wouldn't _have_ to guess. He would go on and on about whatever girl he was seeing. It was a little irritating, actually." Lettie shrugged.

"Well, I don't know, then. Everyone's pretty busy at work these days. You and Phillip are rehearsing 'Rewrite the Stars' and recording music, and I thought I overheard this morning that Barnum's going to have W.D. do some stage fighting. Sometimes schedules just don't coincide."

"I s'pose." Both women were quiet for a few moments before Anne said quietly, "Lettie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Were you responsible for W.D. and Phillip's mishap with the ropes a while back? I don't really care," she added, seeing Lettie's startled look, "but soon we're going to be filming the most risky parts of 'Rewrite the Stars' and I need to know if I made a mistake with the equipment. I don't want anything dangerous to happen." Lettie let out the breath she'd been holding.

"Yeah, that was me. I was trying to set you and Phillip up for some bonding time." She looked carefully at Anne, trying to gauge her reaction, but Anne just rolled her eyes.

"Why can't a guy and a girl ever be friends without everyone trying to push romance onto them? Seriously, Lettie. We forgive you - well, maybe not W.D. so much - but please stop meddling, okay? As romantic as the idea of falling in love with your co star both in real life and in a film is, Phillip and I have plenty of good chemistry - as _friends_." Lettie nodded readily.

"I think I've learned my lesson, Anne. I _am_ sorry. And thank you for not telling Barnum - you're not going to, are you?"

"Nah." Anne shrugged. "What good would that do?" Lettie smiled.

"Thanks, girl." Everything was quiet for a few minutes, but after a while, Anne stretched and proclaimed,

"Okay, I'm bored. Any ideas?" Lettie smirked.

"That's easy." She raised her voice a little - she and Anne had been speaking quietly before so as not to disturb Charles' and Imelda's card game - and said clearly, "Malin Byström _so deserved_ to win Best Female Singer in the International Opera Awards, don't you think?"

" _Whaaaaat?!_ "

* * *

Phineas Taylor "P.T." Barnum took a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself for what was to come. He had tried not to dwell on the inevitable, but the day of reckoning had finally arrived. He would face his doom with dignity and maturity, and -

"Dear, why do you look as though you're a man slated for execution?" his wife enquired, a little worryingly. Explosions, rampaging animals, and skydiving failed to faze him, so she was - understandably - concerned as to what could possible rattle her husband so.

"Well, you see," Phineas began, "today we - but especially, I - have to endure the first day of filming with Jenny Lind."

Her husband's expression was so serious, so full of dread, that Charity tried to keep a straight face. She really, really did. But it was all for naught as a muscle in her cheek betrayed her. "Charity!" That did it. She burst out laughing. Her husband huffed. "Stop laughing! This is going to be terrible!"

Charity refrained from saying _I told you so_. She had agreed to Jenny's involvement in the film, after all - wanting to take the high road and all that, despite their explosive history - and so in a way she was just as much to blame as Phineas.

"I think I made a mistake here, Charity," Phineas confessed. Her mouth dropped open a little. Her husband was good-hearted, but it was rare to hear him admit he was wrong about _anything_. Then her eyes narrowed.

"What sort of mistake?" It it was anything like the one film-Phineas made…her husband, as usual, didn't notice the warning signs in his wife's expression, but that was alright, because -

"Just hiring her in the first place, I mean. We're all older, in theory more mature...I thought she'd be able to act professionally. But she treats people here with indifference at best, and outright rudeness at worst, in Lettie's case." He paused and turned to look Charity in the eyes. "Should I fire her, do you think?" It was Charity's turn to pause in thought. She knew why her husband hesitated. The press would be a nightmare. This film was a hard sell already, and if a star rated like Jenny Lind quit or was fired, the attention could only be detrimental.

"I think we should wait. It's not like we can't change our minds later. And who knows? Maybe once she's started working, Jenny won't have as much energy to be such a pain in the ass." Phineas chuckled.

"We can always hope."

* * *

TWO OUT OF THREE CHAT MEMBERS ARE ONLINE

Anon_1: So are we ready?

Anon_2: No. He's not here yet.

Anon_1: I know. I meant, is the PLAN ready?  
Anon_2: Oh! Yes, as long as everyone agrees. Did you get the file I sent you?

Anon_1: Yes

Anon_2: And?

Anon_1: Don't quit your day job!

Anon_2: Gee, guys were the ones who said I should do the writing!

THREE OUT OF THREE MEMBERS ARE ONLINE

Anon_3: Sorry I'm late, guys!

Anon_1: If you were ever on time,I'd drop dead of shock

Anon_3: WOW, what's got YOUR panties in a twist?

Anon_2: Don't mind him. He seems to be cranky with everyone today.

Anon_2: Did you get the file I sent you?

Anon_3: Yeah! It looks great

Anon_2: See that? My work is appreciated!

Anon_1: Yeah, yeah, okay. Neither of you guys know how to take a joke!

Anon_3: We're getting off track. Do we think we're ready?

Anon_1: Yup

Anon_2: Yup

Anon_3: Awesome. How do I get into his office?

Anon_2: You don't.

Anon_1: You slip it under the door. Because, I mean, theoretically, how would SHE get into his office?

Anon_3: Good point

Anon_2: Alright, then. Good work guys! Now we step back and watch the fireworks!

ANON_2 HAS LOGGED OFF

ANON_3 HAS LOGGED OFF

ANON_1 HAS LOGGED OFF

* * *

JENNY LIND, TAKE ONE

"Miss Jenny Lind."

Phineas watched the elegant woman glide into the room. LIke when he and his troupe entered, hushed whispers filled the room - but instead of shocked and scandalized, these were awed, _reverent,_ even. That was what _he_ wanted, for him and his show. _._ Who _was_ this woman?

"...the most famous performer in all of Europe. She's sold out the Scala a dozen times, not to mention…" Barnum was only half listening to his apprentice's dialogue. His mind had kicked into overdrive. This opera singer, Miss Lind...she had people's attention. The _right_ sort of people, the _right_ sort of attention. Phillip had stopped talking and was watching Phineas watch Jenny curtsy to the Queen. Before he'd truly thought things through, he grasped Phillip's shoulder and hustled him towards the opera diva.

"What are you doing?"

"Following you, so you can introduce me to Miss Lind."

" _Introduce_ you?

"Yeah."

"I don't know her!" Phillip protested. Before Phineas could deliver his next line, Phillip stumbled on the rug. This meant that Phineas, who still had him by the shoulder and was hot on his heels, crashed directly into him and both champagne glasses went flying...right into Jenny, who at that exact same moment had taken her cue to turn around.

Utter pandemonium. Charity watched first in horror, than in exhausted exasperation, from the director's chair. She put her head in her hands. This was a simple scene. Possibly the simplest in the entire movie. No horses, no dancing, no singing, no fire, no trapeze...just walking and talking. And so much for a calmer Jenny Lind! _Lord, give me strength._

* * *

TAKE TWO

Two hours of wardrobe and two new champagne glasses later, everyone was ready to try again.

"What are you doing?"

"Following you, so you can introduce me to Miss Lind."

"You're hurting my shoulder!" Phillip exclaimed, wincing, instead of delivering his intended line . Phineas scoffed.

"Wimp." He then punched Phillip in the same shoulder.

" _Owww!_ " Jenny turned around and gave both men a cool look, with just the slightest hint of amusement.

"How very _droll_. And who might you be?"

"My name is Phillip Carlysle. And this kook next to me would be Mr. Phineas Taylor Barnum," Phillip said with a straight face. Phineas scowled…and then, without hesitation, he poured his glass of champagne over Phillip's head. As Phillip sputtered and coughed, Charity threw up her hands in utter frustration.

"You know, up until that little stunt you pulled there, we could have _used_ that scene, Phineas! Now Phillip has to go back to wardrobe _again_ , the clean-up crew has to clean the carpeting on the set _again,_ and we'll be delayed by another hour or two - _AGAIN!_ Get your act together, or you're sleeping on the couch tonight!"

"Sorry, dear," Phineas replied meekly. Phillip smirked.

* * *

It was the end of the day. Nearly everyone had gone home - well, to their trailers or hotel rooms near the set, at least - and P.T. was looking forward to just relaxing, and spending some quality time with Charity and the girls. He was no longer in hot water - he'd been on his best behavior for the remainder of the day's filming, and, surprisingly, everything had gone off without a hitch. Now he was tidying up his office while he waited for Charity to finish up.

As he glanced around his office, he suddenly noticed an envelope he hadn't seen earlier, that looked like it'd been slid underneath his door. All it said on the front was his first name, _Phineas_. He raised an eyebrow. Had Charity left him a note for some reason? It wasn't really her style. He opened the letter, and sat down at his desk to read it. He read first with curiosity, seeing that it wasn't his wife's handwriting, and then, as his eyes widened and stomach filled with dread, faster and faster.

 _Dear Phineas,_

 _I must have written you a million of these letters and thrown them away, but now I can no longer keep quiet._

 _I knew I loved you from the moment I saw you. At first, I tried very hard to deny my feelings. You're married, and to Charity, who I also care for and respect. But it's become too hard. I think about you constantly. I can't help but smile every time I see you. My love for you only continues to grow the more we work together. I don't know what to do. I never wanted to hurt you or Charity, but it hurts_ _me_ _too much to stay silent forever._

 _With great love and affection,_

 _Lettie_


	7. Lettie's had Enough!

A/N: Special thanks to my newest supporter, Clio1792, and to everyone who has continued to follow and enjoy this story! I have a lot of fun writing this regardless, but it's great to know that people are enjoying it!

I'm sorry that there's not a lot of actual 'film' in this chapter - This is Me is such a special part of the Greatest Showman, and I didn't want to just 'squeeze it in'.

Enjoy!

 **Lettie's had Enough! (Strange Barnum Encounters of the FIfth Kind)**

MOMENTS AFTER BARNUM READS LETTIE'S LETTER

Phineas Taylor "P.T." Barnum went sprinting out of his office. Meanwhile, his thoughts were racing nearly as fast as he was. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do, but one thing was for certain: he couldn't keep this a secret from Charity. Not only would he fail miserably (he hadn't been able to keep a secret from her in years, not even something like a surprise party) but also, she would kill him. Dead. And then when she was done, she would resurrect him and kill him again.

He raced around a corner - and smacked right into Charity.

" _Ow!_ Where's the fire, Phin?!" Charity exclaimed, alarmed. Phineas had to stop and catch his breath.

"You - you have to read this," he wheezed, handing her the letter. "It's not my fault - I don't know what to do, but I swear I didn't have anything to do with this, I promise-"

"Phineas!" He looked at his wife. "Breathe. Deep breath." He obeyed, his chest rising and falling slowly. "Let me see what this is all about before you go off the deep end - if you're not already there!" she teased. Phin didn't even crack a smile, and Charity raised an eyebrow, concerned. _This must be pretty serious_. She took the letter and began to read.

When she finished, she looked back up at Phineas. Her husband's face was so terrified it was almost comical.

"Phin." He flinched. "Phineas, I'm not angry. I'm not even upset." Phin's jaw dropped.

"But you - and she - and I - agh!" he stammered. Charity correctly interpreted this as, _You're my wife, and I don't want you to be hurt, but you just found out another woman is in love with your husband, and it's a woman that we're both friends with!_

"I know. But it's obvious that you came to me right away. And if you'd _calm down_ Phin, you'd see why I don't think everything is as it seems here." Phineas' heartbeat began to slow as he realized he was no longer a man slated for execution. Charity sat down next to him on the floor. "First of all, I'm pretty astute at noticing when women are interested in my man. I've never seen _any_ indication that Lettie might be interested in you that way. She's never subtle about expressing any of her feelings, either. To anyone."

"She's an actress, though!"

"True, and she's a good one, but if she really loves you as much as this letter says, there'd be _something_ out of the ordinary, some sort of sign _._ Plus, look at this, here," she pointed again to the letter. "'I can't help but smile every time I see you?' I don't think it'd be impossible for a tough woman like Lettie to have a secret romantic side, but that doesn't even remotely sound like her."

"She definitely doesn't smile every time she sees me," Phineas chuckled. "In fact, she's told me, to my face, that seeing me always irritates her!" Charity laughed.

"Can you blame her? You're a demanding director."

"And dedicated, passionate, inspired…" Phineas hinted. Charity rolled her eyes.

"Yes, those things, too." The couple was quiet for a moment, before Phineas said,

"If Lettie didn't write this letter, though, who did? And why do they want me to to think Lettie loves me?" Charity shrugged.

"Do you know anyone who has it out for Lettie?" Phineas hummed thoughtfully.

"Well, Lettie can be a bit abrasive, and she doesn't sugarcoat things, but she seems pretty well-liked by everyone. Well, except for maybe -" he and Charity turned to look at each other, each having come to the same conclusion.

" _Jenny Lind."_ Charity spit the name like a curse.

"It makes perfect sense!" Phineas exclaimed. "She can't stand Lettie, and Lettie can't stand her, and if another woman was in love with me it would hurt you, which she would just love." Charity was already in motion, furious, and Phineas grabbed her before she could go sprinting to find Jenny Lind and rearrange her face. "Dear, hold on. I think we need to be cautious here."

" _What?_ " Charity was astounded. " _Why?"_

"Well, first of all, nobody else is in the building. Everyone's gone home, including Jenny." Assuaged by logic (rare for Phineas), his wife sat back down. "If Jenny really did this," he continued, "than it needs be dealt with. But, what if we're wrong, and Lettie really did write me this note? I think we need to observe Lettie. Someone who's just written a confession letter isn't going to be acting normally." Charity gave her husband a fake-shocked look.

" _You_ want to sit back quietly and observe, instead of just jumping right into things? Who are you and what have you done to my husband?" Charity joked. Phineas chuckled, but then his expression turned serious.

"If Lettie really has feelings for me, than I need to be kind to her and do my best to let her down easy. She deserves that." Charity smiled and gave him a loving kiss. Patience may not have been his strong suit, but the compassion he showed, _that_ was definitely her husband.

* * *

Phineas was wrong, as it happened. They weren't the _only_ ones still in the building. Not far from where Charity and Phineas were sitting, another couple was enjoying some together time the only way they could - in secret.

* * *

When Lettie Lutz came to work the next day, something felt... _off_. She felt Barnum's eyes on her the whole morning, just _staring_. As an actress, Lettie never really minded being the center of someone's attention, but coming from Barnum it was just weird _._ He almost appeared concerned, and he was studying her as though she was a puzzle that needed figuring out.

It was creeping her out. And when she asked him, point-blank, why he was acting so strangely, he actually _blushed._ Barnum, getting flustered or embarrassed about something? "I'm not acting weird! Who's acting weird? Maybe _you're_ acting weird," was all he stammered before rushing out. Lettie watched him go, more confused than ever. _What the hell was that?_

* * *

NEVER ENOUGH, TAKE ONE

"What's taking her so long?" P.T. peered out nervously at the (in his mind) impatient crowd. "They're still taking their seats," Phillip soothed. "Speaking of which -"

"Yeah?"

"Tom and Lettie, the others, they've just arrived." Phillip wasn't sure he'd ever seen P.T. so distracted, but he pressed on. "Where should I put them? Your box?"

"That box?" P.T. was jarred out of his thoughts. "No, no, no, that's a bit visible."

" _Visible?_ " Had he heard P.T. correctly? Did he _really_ just say that?

"The acoustics are actually better in the standing room, that's where they should be," P.T. said hurriedly. Phillip opened his mouth to say something, anything, but before he could slap some sense into his colleague, Jenny Lind was ready to go on. Phillip headed towards the troupe and herded them in the standing room, as Barnum wished. The troupe was solemn, unsurprised that they were being renegaded to someplace less, as Barnum had so succinctly put it, _visible._ Phillip stood next to Anne as the ringmaster stepped on stage, the nervous wreck of before replaced with a calm, confident showman.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for your patience…" Barnum began his introduction. Caroline's face fell as she heard the high and mighty snobs around her whisper about her father. The troupe's faces turned stony when they heard their leader assure the crowd that this was no "sideshow novelty" act. "The Swedish Nightingale," Barnum finished with a flourish, "Miss Jenny Lind!"

Polite applause sounded. The lights dimmed. And...the curtain didn't open.

"Oh, _come on!_ " We do the entire scene perfectly and then the _curtain_ doesn't open?" The set people scattered out of the path of Barnum's frustration.

* * *

"Charity, why are you looking at Jenny like you have lasers coming out of your eyes?"

"Err…" Charity didn't know how do answer without going into everything that had been happening behind the scenes, which was _not_ an option. "...The usual reasons?"

"...Fair enough."

* * *

TAKE TWO

-"Miss Jenny Lind!" Applause. Soft piano music began. P.T. raised his eyes to the heavens, praying, _Dear God, please let this work!_

" _I'm tryin' to hold my breath…_ " Barnum let out a breath of his own as it became abundantly clear that Jenny _could_ sing - and very well!

" _Getting louder now, can you hear it echoing? Take my hand…_ " Standing next to Anne, Phillip looked down at her hand and at his, so close they were nearly touching. Could he…?

" _All the shine of a thousand_ spotlights" - on the first _spotlights_ , the lights on Jenny were supposed to brighten subtlely, then brighten more dramatically the next time Jenny sang the line. However, instead of doing either of those things, all the lights went out.

Charity burst out laughing at the irony before she could stop herself. Luckily, the noise got swallowed up in the sudden confusion - not just in the audience, but especially in the orchestra pit. Unbeknownst to her, Phineas was having the same reaction backstage.

Interestingly, but perhaps unsurprisingly, Jenny didn't complain or whine one bit about the incident. She would've sang that song as many times as necessary.

* * *

ONE OUT OF THREE CHAT MEMBERS ARE ONLINE

Anon_1: Guys?

THREE OUT OF THREE CHAT MEMBERS ARE ONLINE

Anon_3: Yeah?

Anon_1: Did any of us tell/warn Charity about what we were planning on doing?

Anon_2: ...

Anon_1: We are SO dead. Dead dead DEAD.

Anon_3: Maybe she'll be cool with it?

Anon_2: Oh, God, we are DOOMED.

Anon_1: When we get caught, I'm blaming YOU.

Anon_3: Thanks, feeling the love.

Anon_2: Which one of us?

Anon_1: Either. Or both!

Anon_3: We just gotta play it cool for now.

ANON_3 HAS LOGGED OFF

ANON_2 HAS LOGGED OFF

ANON_1 HAS LOGGED OFF

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _Towers of gold, are still too little; These hands could hold the world, but it'll, never be enough, never be enough…_ " Phillip's hand closed around Anne's own as Jenny sang, and the couple let out a breath.

Up above in the box, Caroline leaned further forward to get a better glimpse of the opera diva. She raised the opera glasses to her eyes and-

" _OWW!"_

 _Screeeeech!_

 _Crash!_

 _Thump!_

"Sorry!" squeaked Caroline as the man who had the opera glasses dropped on his head scowled and the orchestra recovered from the (literal) screeching halt they'd come to at the man's shout.

* * *

Anne yawned as she reached the main lounge where everyone usually hung out. Fun this job may be, but that didn't mean that Barnum let them slack off! Trapeze rehearsal with Philip was...well, he was trying his best, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd been so sore. Stretching and yawning again, she opened the lounge door and raised an eyebrow at her brother and Phillip, the only two people in the room. For some reason, both men looked as though they had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"What's with you?"

"We're having a passionate, secret love affair," W.D. deadpanned as Phillip elbowed him. This only confused Anne more. Her brother wasn't typically sarcastic by nature.

"Oookaaay, whatever, don't tell me then," Anne muttered. She would have said more if Lettie hadn't walked into the room at that moment.

The woman in question had just come from her second Strange Barnum Encounter of the day, and she was _not_ pleased.

"What's with Barnum today?" she groused to her co-actors, "I didn't think it was possible for him to act even stranger than he already does, and yet here we are."

Had Lettie been looking up as she entered, instead of rummaging through her bag, she might have noticed how Anne's eyes widened slightly, how W.D. fumbled the script he was holding, how Phillip turned red and looked away. But she wasn't, so she didn't. Anne recovered first.

"Barnum, acting strange? In other obvious news, the sun rose this morning!" she exclaimed. Unlike her brother, Anne and sarcasm had been close friends for a long time. She glared at the two men as if to say, _Get it together._ W.D. cleared his throat.

"I don't think even Charity understands how Barnum thinks one hundred percent of the time." Lette gave a wry laugh.

"That's probably true, but this isn't his normal brand of "I want to set off fireworks indoors while animals perform" strangeness. It - " here Lettie paused. She didn't often hesitate in saying what she thought, but would it sound too self-absorbed to say that Barnum seemed to be specifically concerned about her? They didn't need a second Jenny Lind. "He just keeps giving me weird looks is all," she settled.

"Well, maybe you could ask Charity?" Phillip blurted out before he could stop to think about it. The two furious glares sent his way went unnoticed by Lettie, who was rummaging through her bag again.

"Dang, I forgot my script," she grumbled. "Later." After she'd gone through the door, Anne and W.D. whirled on Phillip.

" ' _Maybe you could ask Charity'?!_ What were you thinking?"

"The _last_ thing we want is to draw more of Charity's attention to what's going on."

"I'm sorry, okay?" Phillip cried. "I panicked!" Anne buried her face in her hands.

"I am _never_ pranking anyone again. This is too stressful!" W.D. snorted.

"I'll remember that the next time you come over."

* * *

"Dear, I think you're freaking Lettie out."

"She's giving me strange looks!"

"Yes, because _you're_ giving her strange looks. How is it that you've won so many acting roles and awards, yet you can't act normal in this situation?"

"This is different! I don't need to worry about hurting anyone when I'm acting on a set."

"That's a good point." A pause. "I think the best thing to do would be to have a talk with Lettie this afternoon, or maybe tonight. If she did write the letter - and that's a big _if_ \- it doesn't look as though she knows we found it. Which means at the very least, she didn't deliver it."

"Okay, Charity." A pause. "Both of us, do you think?"

"Yeah, I'd say so. If we're right and Lettie didn't write the letter, there's no reason for me not to be there. And if we're wrong, well, we don't want to give her the wrong idea."

"Makes sense." Another pause. "Hey, Charity -"

" _No_ , Phineas."

"But - "

"You are _not_ ordering any more fireworks."

"Aww."

* * *

AFTER THE SHOW, TAKE ONE

" _Ahhh_! How do I turn it off?!"

"Turn it o - Barnum, it's a bottle of champagne, there's no 'off' button!"

"Just don't shake it so much next time."

" _I barely touched it!"_

* * *

Lettie was watching Charity watch Phineas and Jenny Lind conversing. The expression on her face couldn't quite be called irritated, but there was definitely an edge to it. Lettie leaned over.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to spill champagne on Jenny and make it look like an accident," Charity replied before her brain could catch up with her mouth. She blanched. "I - I mean -" Lettie burst out laughing.

" _Oh_ , I _dare_ you!" she exclaimed, She gave Jenny an appraising look. "It wouldn't be too hard…" she mused thoughtfully. Charity gazed at the pair as well, considering, but then she shook her head and sighed.

"If I go 'round the bend, who's left?" she asked rhetorically. Lettie paused.

"Well, Phillip, maybe?" Charity snorted, a rare, unlady-like sound for her.

"All respect to Phillip, but he never prevented what would have become the Great Caffeine Incident of 2012." Lettie blinked.

"The _what_ now?" Charity rolled her eyes.

"Long story." This made Lettie raise an eyebrow

"Isn't it always?" Charity smiled in agreement. Lettie smiled back - and then noticed something strange. Now that Charity's attention was on her instead of on Jenny and her husband, Charity was studying her much like Barnum had that morning. It was much more subtle and understated - no surprise there - but it was there just the same. Lettie scowled and was about to dema - that is, _ask politely_ what was going on, when Barnum called everyone together.

What was with everyone today?

* * *

TAKE TWO

"It's hard to understand wealth and privilege when you're born into it. I sometimes don't feel like I belong here," Jenny confessed to Phineas.

"You?" Jenny leaned a little closer and lowered her voice.

"I was born out of wedlock...and that brought shame upon my family. And life always manages to remind me that I don't deserve a place in this world. And that leaves a hole that no ovation can ever fill."

" _Cut!_ Nice job, Jenny." Charity didn't like to admit it, but she meant it. She wasn't certain someone who'd only had musical training would be able to act, but while Jenny was no Meryl Streep, she did just fine. Once Jenny had left, Charity noticed Phin's frown. "What's wrong, dear?" Her husband was rifling through the script and muttering to himself.

"Who wrote these lines? I don't like these at all."

"You did, dear." Truth be told, Charity wasn't taken with them either. Who tells an almost-stranger that she was born out of wedlock?

" _I_ wrote them? Oh, yes - I remember." He straightened up and beamed. "I change my mind, then - they're wonderful." Charity discretely rolled her eyes.

"If you're happy, then so I am I."

* * *

Sitting in a chair before Barnum and Charity in Barnum's office, Lettie felt - oddly - like a misbehaving child in the principal's office. She had corned a startled Barnum in the hallway after work that day - demanding to know what was going on - when Charity had snuck up behind her, scared the daylights out of her, and invited her here. "There's something we both needed to talk to you about," she had said. Her instincts had been right - something was up.

"Do you have any idea why you're here, Lettie?" Barnum asked her softly. The feeling of being in the principal's office increased. Unlike all of her elementary school (and middle school... _and_ high school) visits, Lettie really _didn't_ have any idea what she'd done to upset Barnum and Charity. She certainly didn't think she was getting fired - Barnum only seemed pleased with her work, and while she gave some people a hard time, it was all in good fun.

"No, I don't. What's this about?" she replied as calmly as she could manage. Charity reached into a desk drawer and pulled out a piece of paper.

"This was slipped under our door yesterday evening," she said, handing it to Lettie. Lettie took it, and with a nod from Charity, began to read. She wasn't any less confused - until she saw the signature.

Lettie could count on one hand the number of times she had been struck speechless in her life. But she'd never been faced with something quite like this. She gaped at Barnum and Charity; who were studying her with apprehension and concern respectively.

" _I didn't write this_!" she squeaked when she finally found her voice again. Her face, which had paled drastically after reading the letter, now began to turn redder and redder. "I didn't slip it under the door and I didn't write it!" she said, louder, more defiant. Barnum sighed in relief while Charity smiled.

"We were fairly sure you didn't - at least, _I_ was," Charity said, glancing at her husband with more than a little amusement. "But we wanted to approach you carefully about it, in case there was the slightest chance it was really you."

"So _that's_ why you were acting crazy all day - crazier than normal, I mean," Lettie exclaimed, looking at Barnum.

"Don't you start," he said good-naturedly, "Charity's already given me a hard time about my inability to act natural." Lettie rolled her eyes.

"And Anne wanted me to believe...that…" Lettie's eyes widened as she realized what exactly had played out. "Oh, I'll _kill_ her," she growled. She started to get up before Charity threw an arm out to stop her.

"Jenny? We know, we're on it -"

"No, not Jenny. _Anne._ "

"Anne?" Barnum was surprised. "I thought you two were friends?"

"We are. I - I played a prank…" Lettie trailed off. Barnum chuckled.

"Ahh, yes, the supply closet," he chuckled. Lettie winced at Charity's raised eyebrow.

"Among other things." Charity sighed.

"You know what, I don't want to know. Hold on," she said to Lettie, who had started to get up again. "Before you go hunt Anne down, why don't we have a little _fun_?" She smiled a very un-Charity-like smile, a sort of devious smirk. Phineas looked at his wife in surprise while Lettie grinned.

"What did you have in mind?"

* * *

" _ANNE WHEELER?!"_ Anne jumped about a foot in the air, spilling her coffee and dumping her magazine on the floor.

"Y-yes?" she squeaked. Should she run? Should she blame Phillip? Before she could decide, Lettie poked her head through the door.

"Nothing. You forgot your script." Lettie handed her the booklet. Anne put a hand to her heart.

"You startled me, Lettie!" The woman just shrugged.

"Sorry. Just keeping it spontaneous." Anne sighed and laughed a little nervously.

"Right." After Anne had turned away, Lettie smirked inwardly. Just because she had agreed to play the long game with Barnum and Charity didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun in the meantime.


	8. It was us! (This is me)

A/N: Phew! I've been trying for a while to get this chapter out! But I had to become a hermit and I took 6 exams in only 12 days. Thank you so much to my faithful, patient supporters, and a shout-out to my newest supporters: Chloe Woodbridge, Undertowed Chevrolet, przemekbeling, and civilwarrose. Finally, a special shout-out to Saberius Prime and emajank, who have been supporters for a while but who I accidentally forgot to give a shout-out to! Sorry, guys!

And now...on with the show!

 **Wait, wait, it was us! (This is Me)**

"Okay, gang!" P.T. clapped his hands for everyone's attention. "Are we ready for, 'This is Me?' Lettie, you good to go?" The actress fist-pumped with unusual enthusiasm.

"I was _born_ ready!"

"That's what I love to hear!" P.T. exclaimed. "If this goes the way I imagined, this will be _the_ hit song of the musical -"

" _Ahem?_ " P.T. rolled his eyes so Jenny couldn't see.

" _One_ of the hit songs," he amended, though when Jenny had turned away, he pointed at Lettie and mouthed, _it's all you!_ She beamed. He turned back to the rest of the cast. "Obviously, the musical number is all choreographed, but for this little beginning dialogue part I thought we would try some improv. Okay?" Nods all around. "Let's do this!"

* * *

THIS IS ME (PART 1), TAKE ONE

"Mr. Phineas!" Lettie bounded up to Barnum eagerly. " _Lord,_ that lady can sing!"

"I know - "

"Do you think she likes a man in uniform?" P.T. burst out laughing. Behind the camera, Charity rolled her eyes.

"Phineas-"

"I know, I know. Sorry. It was good improv." He gave a thumbs-up to, err, Tom Thumb. "I'll get it next time."

* * *

TAKE TWO

"Do you think she likes a man in uniform?" Tom smirked.

"I'm sure she does," P.T. replied hurriedly. "What are you doing here? You got a show in an hour, okay?"

"That's enough time for us to have, what, at least three drinks, right?" The others laughed with Lettie in agreement. "Come, on, let's go-"

"-No, no, no, Lettie," Barnum grabbed her shoulders, hard. "Lettie!"

"What?"

"It's very crowded in here, okay, and I can't have you mingling...guys!" He pushed Lettie back again, who by now had realized something was amiss. "Who's gonna pay admission if you're out there for all the world to see? Okay? Have a great show."

"Wait!" Lettie had the door shut in her face. She and the other troupe members - her _family_ members - stared at each other in shock. She could just make out Barnum's speech behind the closed door:

"Jenny, America may not know it yet, but they are going to love you!" Lettie gasped.

 _They may not know it yet, but they are going to love you._ That was what Barnum had promised _her_ , that day when had had burst into the washhouse and catapulted her into her new life. Her eyes filled with tears, and she gave a tiny sob. But just one.

" _I am not a stranger to the dark. HIde away, they say, 'cause we don't want your broken parts…"._ Lettie sang about her pain, about _all_ of their pain, before turning to her family in defiance, in determination. " _When the sharpest words wanna cut me down...I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown 'em out…"_ she walked away from the little cubby Barnum had put them in. " _Look out, 'cause here I come,_ " she sang, marching towards the main doors with the support of the whole troupe behind her, " _I'm not scared to be seen, I make no apologies,_ this is me!" She flung the doors open.

Well, she tried to. They were locked. "Are you kidding me, Barnum?! Is this a joke?" she hollered.

"What?" he shouted back from the other end of the room, inside the doors. "You missed your cue!"

"The doors are locked!" she shouted back.

"What?"

Charity rolled her eyes and brought out her cell phone.

"Dear, the doors are locked. Yes, the main doors. _Yes_ , the doors that Lettie is supposed to go through." She paused. "No, I don't know why they're locked." Another pause. "Well, do you have a _key_?" She rolled her eyes again, saying to Lettie, "Strange how it's somehow the small things that get in our way, isn't it?

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _I make no apologies,_ this is me!" Lettie triumphantly threw the doors open this time. The nobility gasped as they took in the troupe's (to them) freakish appearance. Lettie stared them all down, breathing a little heavily as fear started to set in. Tom took her hand.

" _Another round of bullets hits my skin….Well, fire away! 'Cause today, I won't let the shame sink in…_ " Tom sang. The troupe marched boldy and proudly through the gilded room, out the doors, and into the street. Snow swirled around them thanks to a machine. Too much snow. Lettie slipped and abruptly became well-acquainted with the pavement.

" _Ouch!_ Barnum!"

"I'm on it." P.T. turned to the crew. "Less snow guys, it's too slippery." He wouldn't dare suggest that perhaps Lettie needed to be more careful. No, never.

* * *

TAKE FOUR

" _I won't let them break me down to dust, I know that there's a place for us…"_ The snow machine made an ominous rattling noise. Barnum threw a nervous look at it. " _For we are_ glorious!" The snow machine gave a loud _CLUNK_ before shooting out 3 times more snow than necessary. The troupe was being smothered by a small (but very powerful) blizzard. "BARNUM! Make - it - _stop!_ " Lettie shrieked. Barnum tried to look contrite. " _Stop laughing!_ " It wasn't working.

* * *

Anne and W.D. were in makeup getting ready for the next part of 'This is Me'. Phillip, who only had a small appearance, was already finished, lounging nearby. As the beauty technicians worked on them, they could hear women shouting. This wasn't an uncommon occurrence with Jenny Lind on set, so they had no problem tuning it out. Except - "Is that Charity -" W.D. began,

"- shouting at Lettie?" Anne finished. They exchanged horrified looks with Phillip. Anne leaped up and ran out of the room, heedless of the technician's scolding, with Phillip and her brother right behind her.

"HOW _DARE_ YOU WRITE LOVE LETTERS TO MY HUSBAND?!" Charity shouted at Lettie, who appeared to be holding back tears.

"I don't know what you're talking about!

It was to this scene that Phillip, Anne and arrived, panting. They watched in shock and horror as _slap!_ Charity hit Lettie across her cheek.

"Charity!" Anne cried, "Wait! It was us!"  
"Lettie didn't write—"  
"—and so we thought that –"  
"—and the supply closet-"  
"—but we didn't realize—"  
Frantic explanations poured out of the trio like water…until Anne realized that Charity was smiling, Lettie's face was now free of tears, and P.T. looked like he wanted to explode into laughter. They stuttered to a stop. They had been had, Anne realized. They had played Lettie – and she had played them right back. Seeing her evil grin, there was only one thing to do.  
"It was all Phillip and W.D.'s idea!" she shrieked.

"Wha -? Anne?!" Phillip protested, blindsided. She turned on her heel and booked it out of the room. Phillip looked to W.D. for help and only received a slightly apologetic shrug in return.  
"Sorry man, you're on your own." W.D. sprinted out of the room as well, leaving Phillip to face the wolves – er, well, one wolf. As Phillip ran futilely down the halls, he vowed some revenge on the Wheelers. Lettie could run surprisingly fast.

* * *

TAKE TEN

" _This is me. Look out, 'cause here I come…"_ the troop was now performing in the circus ring for a huge crowd. Lettie was still going strong, utterly in her element. Anne and W.D. had the rare chance to dance alongside each other. Charity had given up trying to kick out the two young kids who kept sneaking in and just let them be extras in the crowd. Everything would've been going just fine, if it weren't for one thing:

As Anne continued to dance on the circus floor, she slipped and fell on the sawdust-covered surface. After the cameras had stopped, the soundtrack faded out and Lettie helped her up, she glared at Barnum.

"Is the sawdust really necessary?" The take before, it was Imelda who had fallen, and the take before _that_ , Lettie. Barnum was undeterred.

"Everyone say it with me now!" he exclaimed. The cast rolled their eyes, knowing what was coming, but dutifully chanted along, "Verisimilitude!" Anne rubbed her side where she had hit the floor.

"If we don't get through this soon, I'll show Barnum where he can put his 'verisimilitude'!" she muttered discreetly to Lettie, who could only laugh.

* * *

TAKE TWENTY-SEVEN

" _And I know that I deserve your love!"_ Lettie sang her heart out, " _There's nothing I'm not worthy of!_ " And then, for what must have been the twentieth time, the entire cast - sans Lettie - jumped up in the air. It shouldn't have been difficult - the slow-motion editing would go in post-production, after all. However…

"It still doesn't look right, P.T. sighed to Charity. Charity threw a sidelong glance to the weary cast before replying,

"Dear, I think it might be a good idea if we viewed some of this footage _before_ deciding if we need any more takes. It's been a long day, and you might change your mind once we see the scene as a whole." P.T. was about to disagree when Charity gave him _The Look_.

"Er, right. Let's take an hour, everyone! But stay in costume, for now." Behind his back, many cast members smiled gratefully at Charity. As people began to pack up, Anne sat down on the floor, kicking off her high heels gratefully.

"Did women really wear these things in the 19th century?" It was a rhetorical question, but Charity nonetheless replied,

"High heeled footwear has actually been around since the 15th century. Although, they were originally for men, not women." At this tidbit of information, P.T. glanced thoughtfully at Phillip, who was abruptly yanked out of his daydreaming.

"No _way_!" he protested, "Not a chance!" Charity nipped her husband's idea in the bud.

"Phineas, dear, men never wore the sort of heels you're thinking of. They wore lifts inside of their shoes, like some men still do today. It would make no sense for Phillip to be wearing a pair of women's heels."

As Phillip sighed in relief, Lettie and Anne pouted. Photos of Phillip in high heels would've been hilarious, and made _such_ great blackmail material...

* * *

Filming had wrapped up for the day, and at the moment W.D. was studying his sister with no small amount of concern. He hadn't seen her this anxious since the Trapeze-Incident-That-Must-Not-Be-Named back in 2012. He said as much, and her eyes narrowed.

"I thought we agreed we were never going to bring that up again," Anne hissed. W.D. held up his hands in the universally-acknowledged 'don't hurt me' gesture.

"Okay, okay, I'll drop it. I'm just worried about you." Anne's features softened. She twisted the hem of her shirt a little anxiously.

"It's the last part of 'Rewrite the Stars,'" she confessed. The part where Phillip jumps into my arms after we do the spinning-twist thing. We still miss the mark half the time." W.D.'s brow furrowed; was that all?

"So what? You guys have a net, after all." When Anne didn't say anything, his eyes narrowed. "Don't you?" Anne sighed in exasperation.

"Barnum wants to shoot the scene without any net. He says it makes more sense for the ground routines, and for," here she paused to roll her eyes, "historical accuracy."

"Charity won't let that happen," W.D. said after a pause. Anne tried to smile.

"I hope you're right. And if not, I s'pose we have a couple of days to try to change his mind…" she trailed off. "Anyway, let's talk about something else." W.D. shrugged.

"Fine by me."

"For example," Anne began, her face forming a devious smirk, "When am I going to meet your new girlfriend?" W.D., who had just taken a large drink of water, choked.

"My _what_ now?" Anne rolled her eyes and leaned back against the wall, arms folded across her chest.

"Oh, come on, now. I know you. I know there's someone. So what's the deal?" Anne was rather surprised by what happened next. W.D. swallowed hard, his expression suddenly a little...fearful. Anne frowned. "W.D.?" His mouth opened, but no sound came out, and before he could manage to say whatever it is he wanted to say, the siblings were interrupted by the sight of Phillip running at top speed through the building. W.D. and Anne traded confused looks. Surely Lettie wasn't still after him?

"Run!" Phillip gasped, panting for breath as he sprinted by. "I angered a wild moose, and now it's after me!" W.D. frowned.

"Is that code for something?"

It was not. In the next moment, W.D. grabbed Anne and shielded her, pressing her and himself flat against the wall as they were treated to a sight few people ever see: A very live, very large, very _angry_ moose rampaging through the hall. And behind the moose, an equally angry Charity shouting at her husband as they tried in vain to catch it.

" _Let's order a moose from some random guy online, this is a great idea_ ," she mocked. Phineas wasn't listening, due to the fact that he was yelling at the animal wrangler.

"I wanted a _goose!_ The bird, with a 'g'! Like for a petting zoo! Not a moose!" The animal wrangler scratched his head.

"Nobody ever wants just one goose. That's why I figured you must've wanted a moose instead."

" _What?"_ Charity yelled in shock.

"How could you possibly think that?!" Phineas shouted at the same time. Anne and W.D. missed the animal wrangler's reply as the trio ran out of range, and also because of the thunderous _CRASH!_ they heard only a few seconds later. Once Anne was sure her heart was beating again, she turned to her brother.

"This has to be the strangest movie anyone, anywhere, has _ever_ worked on, _ever_." W.D. was about to agree when they heard Phillip scream. The siblings ran down the hall to assist while both thinking the same thing:

 _This was NOT part of the job description!_

* * *

A/N: Poor Phillip. I think I've unintentionally made him the Neville Longbottom of my series!

A few notes:

\- I always hear about circus floors being covered in sawdust, but I wasn't able to confirm in my research whether this is an inaccuracy that's been repeated so many times that it's taken as fact, or if it was actually true. Apologies if this is inaccurate! Sawdust does seem like it would make logical sense, though, given that even today is is still used for cheap, easy clean-up of blood, sweat, animal waste, etc.

\- Moose, like cows, _can_ be domesticated and, like cows, some people raise them for their milk. However, like cows, they are not really meant to be brought indoors. And Phineas should probably be doing more reference-checking when finding his animal-wranglers online…

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Up next: Rewrite the Stars!


	9. We Rewrite the Stars

A/N: Oh, you _guys!_ I have waited SO long to get to 'Rewrite the Stars'. It's my favorite scene/song in the movie (which is saying something because, as someone with a physical disability, 'This is Me' resonates with me more deeply than I can express). I actually started writing this chapter before any of the others, though it's definitely morphed from the ideas I first started with.

Also, school has ended for a while. I'm freeee! *laughs the laugh of the slightly insane*

And now, I am so pleased to bring you:

 **We Rewrite the Stars, but first, we need a net.**

* * *

Phillip looked at the poster P.T. rolled out with some confusion.

"That doesn't look a thing like Jenny Lind!" he exclaimed. P.T. frowned.

"What do you mean?" Phillip raised an eyebrow.

"Her hair's the wrong color, for one." P.T. took a second hard look at the poster and sighed. He was right. But then, P.T. brightened.

"Jenny doesn't have to _know_ though, does she!" Seeing Phillip's suspiciously innocent face, his eyes narrowed. " _Does_ _she?_ " Phillip waited a beat before dropping the expression.

"Nah. As fun as it is to watch her fly off the handle, I think there's been enough chaos around here lately without me interfering."

"You can say that again!" P.T. sighed.

* * *

AT THE THEATRE, TAKE ONE

Anne approached the ticket box timidly, feeling out of place. She had never before been to the theatre, despite the attraction it held. "Anne Wheeler?" she stated her name for the clerk, "Mr. Barnum said he left a ticket for me." The disapproving clerk held out two tickets. Anne cringed. _This is embarrassing, I don't belong here, what am I doing..._ she swallowed hard and ducked her head. "Um, I'm sorry, I believe there's only supposed to be one." she whispered.

"There's meant to be twoooo...uh-", Anne turned around to see Phillip staring at her in perplexment.

"What?"

Phillip coughed. "That's an... _interesting_ dress," he said, staring at the pea-green ensemble with its ruffled skirt. Anne rolled her eyes.

"I'm a poor, starving trapeze artist! Actually, scratch that. Not only am I a trapeze artist, but given the time period, I could well be a _runaway slave!_ It's amazing I even own a dress!"

"I'm just saying, I _know_ racism was a huge problem back then - and now, unfortunately - but I really the think the sheer ugliness of that dress is half of my "parents'" disapproval right there!" Phillip exclaimed. The two actors started arguing about period-appropriate clothing à la slavery in the 1850's.

Behind the camera, P.T. sighed. It had already been a long day, and they hadn't even started the trapeze scene yet. "Phillip, Anne didn't get to choose her dress. If everyone got to choose their clothing, you wouldn't be wearing tights in the final number. Now, back to one."

Anne and Phillip found their marks, respectively. Suddenly, P.T.'s words sank in and Phillip turned around to face the actor/director. "Wait, what did you say?"

"Never mind now, Phillip. Places, everyone!"

"I am not wearing tights!" Phillip protested.

"Annnd - _action!_ "

* * *

TAKE TWO

Phillip took Anne's arm and began to lead her up the stairs, into the theatre. But before they could run into Phillip's snobby parents, Anne tripped, slid down the few stairs the pair had managed to climb, and ended up flat on her face. Phillip snickered.

"Not terribly graceful when you're on the ground instead of in the air, are you?" he raised an eyebrow. From the floor, Anne scowled up at him.

"Help me up."

* * *

TAKE THREE

\- "With that Barnum business is one thing, but parading around with the help-", Phillip's father broke off, too horrified by what was happening to finish his sentence. Anne pulled out of Phillip's grasp, to run away, but she pulled harder than she meant to. Phillip lost his balance and tumbled down the stairs.

"'Not terribly graceful, are you?'" Anne gloated. Phillip sighed.

"Yeah, I deserved that."

* * *

Phillip was relaxing for a few minutes before he and Anne were meant to start their aerial trapeze scene. Gazing off into the arena, he realized something that made him pause. He made to pull Anne aside as she hurried through on her way to get the finishing touches on her makeup done.

"Hey, Anne, I know you're in a rush, but I was wondering why they haven't put up the net yet."

"Well...we don't get a net", Anne admitted. She thought P.T. would've briefed him, but evidently he hadn't. "Because of the ground routine we do as a part of the scene, and because nets weren't used in that age, P.T. didn't want to give us one. I argued, tried to tell him it was a stupid idea, but he hasn't budged."

"What!" Phillip cried. "I get that we can't have one there for the ground part, but what about near the end, when you swing by and I _jump into your arms?_ Not that I don't trust you - that is - I mean -" Phillip stammered, trying to convey his worry without insulting the actress. Anne wasn't offended.

"I get it. It's something W.D. and I could do, no problem, but we've been working together for years. We can perfectly anticipate our timing." Seeing that there was still a good half hour until they had to start shooting, probably more, she took Phillip by the arm. "I've told Barnum we need a net, but so far he hasn't listened. You and I can go try again together, though." Phillip nodded.

Outside of Barnum's office, the director smiled at his co stars. "Ready for your big romantic scene, you two?"

"About that," Phillip began, "Anne and I have decided that we really do need a net, for that jump at the end of the scene. And with today's technology, I don't think it'd be a problem to edit it out at the end."

"No can do, Phillip, Annie." Anne scowled. No one called her Annie. Not even W.D. "In this film, there needs to be verisimilitude." Anne and Phillip traded exasperated looks at what seemed to be Barnum's Word of the Month. P.T. ignored them. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"Fine." Anne shrugged and began to walk away. Phillip looked at her, panicked, until she continued, "You know, if one - or both - of us gets seriously injured, it would delay the project for several weeks, minimum. Maybe even months." She met Barnum's eyes. "But, you, know, whatever - gotta keep things realistic." Anne left to get her makeup finished.

P.T. stared after her for a long moment. Then he turned back to Phillip. He cleared his throat. "Upon further reflection, I've decided that we need a net."

"Thank God", Phillip breathed.

* * *

"Yes it does!"

"No, it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No, it doesn't!

"Does!"

"Doesn't!"

"Guys!" P.T. interrupted Lettie and Phillip's bickering. "What's all this about!"

"We were talking about 'Rewrite the Stars.' Why would Anne immediately start practicing after the conflict at the theatre? It seems like a weird transition." Lettie replied.

"Because trapeze is her livelihood, it's her life, it's safe and familiar. It's comforting. It's a security blanket!" Phillip exclaimed. "I mean, what do you do when you're upset, Lettie?"

"I, uh…" Lettie blinked. "I sing. But that's different from suiting up and performing an entire aerial routine -"

"- _Gee_ ," P.T. cut her off, "It's too bad we don't have any _trapeze artists_ here that we could ask!" he exclaimed sarcastically. Phillip blushed and Lettie looked sheepish.

"Anne, W.D.!" P.T. shouted. The two siblings poked their heads in warily. "Is it realistic to have you immediately start practicing trapeze after what happened at the theatre?"

"Oh, definitely," Anne replied. Phillip stuck his tongue out at Lettie.

"It can take ages to get one of us down from there if we're upset about something." W.D. added.

"So, there you have it." P.T. looked pointedly at Lettie. "Can we _get back to work now,_ please?"

Everyone scattered. P.T. was touchy today.

* * *

REWRITE THE STARS, TAKE ONE

" _You know I want you,"_ Phillip sang, " _It's not a secret I tried to hide. I know you want me…_ " he faltered as Anne ever so slightly shook her head 'no'. He pressed on: " _So don't keep sayin' our hands are tied. You claim it's not in the cards, and fate is pullin' you miles away, and out of reach from me_ -" his song abruptly cut off as he tripped and fell into the pillar.

"Oh, dear," P.T. sighed from behind the camera, "This is not an auspicious start."

* * *

TAKE TWO

" _It's up to you, and it's up to me: no one can say what we get to be. So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours...tonight!"_ As planned, the cable Anne was holding onto whisked her into the rafters. What was not planned, however, was the large _crash_ that followed.

"Anne," P.T. called nervously, "You okay?" There was several moments pause before:

"Fine!" Anne squeaked, sounding like she was holding back a few choice words. P.T. let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay. Come on down, take a breather, and then we'll try again."

* * *

TAKE THREE

 _-"Maybe the world could be ours...tonight!"_ This time, Anne made it up without injury. However…

"Anne, you missed your cue!" P.T. hollered as he and Phillip stared in surprise at the (empty) hoop descending from the ceiling.

"I know, I know, sorry! I'll get the timing right this time!"

* * *

TAKE FOUR

" _You think it's easy...you think I don't wanna run to you…"_ Anne made it onto the hoop this time. _I know you're wonderin' why, because we're able to be just you and me, within these walls…_ " The hoop carried Anne and Phillip upwards before he let go. Well, he tried to let go.

" _Aaaah_! P.T., I thought you said you checked the equipment!" Phillip shouted as he and Anne were both carried towards the ceiling.

"I did!" P.T. groaned. The hoop lurched ominously. Anne couldn't swing up to safety with her and Phillip both on the hoop. "W.D.-"

"On it," he assured P.T., jumping up from where he'd been quietly observing the scene. Somehow, all three of them got down safely. P.T. ran a hand over his face. All of these scenes seemed like such good ideas in the planning stage of things.

* * *

TAKE FIVE

" _No one can rewrite the stars…"_ Anne swung down from the balcony, but instead of missing Phillip by only inches, crashed right into him.

"No, no, Anne," P.T. called from behind the camera, "You're supposed to miss the first time, and sort of tackle him on the way back down…"

" _Really?_!" Anne exclaimed sarcastically from where she and Phillip were still a tangled pile of limbs, just as Charity remarked,

"I don't think that was deliberate, dear."

* * *

TAKE SIX

" _Everything keeps us apart, and I'm not the one you were meant to find…_ " Anne swung back down and knocked Phillip over as gently as possible. However, she was tackling him just the same.

" _Owww…_ " two voices groaned.

* * *

TAKE EIGHT

" _How can we rewrite the stars, say that the world could be ours_ -Phillip!" Anne exclaimed as he dropped her.

"Sorry! You're heavy!"

" _Excuse me?!_ "

"Er...that is…" Phillip backpedaled, "I have skinny weak noodle arms?"

" _YOU'RE DARN RIGHT YOU DO!'_

* * *

TAKE TEN

" _How can we rewrite the stars, say that the world could be ours...tonight."_ To everyone's surprise, Anne planted a kiss on Phillip's lips. W.D. blanched. Phillip blinked like _What just happened?_ P.T. scratched his head.

"Did we change that?" Charity shook her head no.

"Why did you do that?!" W.D. shouted, upset. Anne looked confused.

"Because it was in the script. Why do you care? It's just acting"

"That wasn't in the script," P.T. cut in before W.D. could answer. "The entire verse you sing is about how you _can't_ be together." Anne frowned.

"That makes more sense," she admitted. "But...why would…" her eyes narrowed. "Lettie!" she shouted. The men and Charity turned in surprise as there was a startled c _rash_ behind the set. W.D. raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously?"

"Oh, come on, I had to give it one last try!"

* * *

TAKE TWELVE

" _Is it impossible?"_

" _It feels impossible…"_

" _Say that it's possible!"_

 _THUNK_

P.T. and Charity winced as the couple smacked right into each other.

" _Uuuughhh…"_

"Are we done yet?"

"You're doing great," Charity soothed.

"Try being more positive!" P.T. interjected. "Ouch!" Charity had elbowed him for that remark.

" _Hooray_!" Phillip exclaimed from his spot on the floor, " _More bruises!"_

" _Internal bleeding!_ " Anne cheered while she helped him up.

" _Delusional bosses!"_

"Hey!"

" _Too cheap to give us stunt doubles!_ "

"You are a trapeze artist, Anne!"

* * *

TAKE FOURTEEN

" _Say that it's possible!"_ P.T. and Charity watched, impressed, as the couple got it on only the third try.

"Wow! Have you guys been rehearsing extra or something?" Anne looked confused,

"No?" while Phillip murmured,

"Or something." Charity frowned, but Phin plowed right ahead.

"Great job! And now comes the best part!"

Anne and and Phillip groaned in unison.

* * *

TAKE FIFTEEN

" _Say you were made to be mine...It's up to you, and and it's up to me…"_ Anne groaned as Phillip hadn't made it to the top of the balcony by the time she'd swung by.

"Phillip! Climb faster!"

"Sorry!"

* * *

TAKE TWENTY

" _No one can say what we get to be! So why don't we rewrite the stars_ …" Charity sighed in relief. They had missed, but Phillip landed safely in the net.

" _Now_ do you see why the net was a good idea?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't have to rub it in."

* * *

TAKE TWENTY-TWO

" _So why don't we rewrite the stars…_ " P.T. groaned as they missed again.

* * *

TAKE TWENTY-SEVEN

"Are you sure you guys wouldn't like to take a break?" P.T. asked, showing some sense for once.

"No!"

"We're so close!"

"We'll get it next time!"

* * *

TAKE THIRTY

" _So why don't we rewrite the stars, changing the world to be ours!_ " Anne and Phillip grabbed on to each other and swung gently to the ground.

" _You know I want you...It's not a secret I tried to hide. But I can't have you...We're bound to break and our hands are tied._ " A moment of silence. Then-

"CUT!" Anne and Phillip cheered.

"We did it!" P.T. smirked inwardly.

"Actually, as it turns out, the cap was on during that last take," he said apologetically. He took a step backwards as both young adults snapped their gazes on him, furious. He laughed nervously.

"Just kidding! I was just kidding." Anne glared at him.

"Let's get him," Anne said in a low voice. P.T. blanched, turned tail, and ran.

"Charity! Help!" His wife didn't even look up from her phone.

"If you're going to tackle him, go for the left side," she advised calmly.

" _CHARITYYYYY!"_


	10. Fire!

A/N: A disclaimer before we begin: using slingshots on people or animals is, obviously, very bad! Don't do it! Same with orchestrating stampedes. This is my creative liberty showing up again, obviously!

Some heavy things go down at the end of this chapter, with a long author's note at the end. Feel free to skip it if you don't need/want elaboration!

And now...enjoy!

 **The circus is set on fire, and...actually, no, that about sums it up.**

* * *

"I won't do it," Jenny said defiantly, crossing her arms. P.T. sighed in exasperation.

"Why not?"

"It's unprofessional. P.T. raised an eyebrow.

"The scene I'm asking you to perform is part of your job. How on earth could it be unprofessional for you to do the job I am paying you to do?"

"I would never cry during a performance, no matter how I was feeling. And not just me," she added quickly, seeing P.T. about to protest. "All opera singers learn that you can't let your emotions interfere with your art." He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Why did she have to be so difficult? Lettie, who had been observing quietly, interjected,

"You know, to be honest, Barnum, I kind of agree with the Princess on this one."

"You do?" Jenny asked. She was so surprised that she ignored the 'Princess' dig.

" _You do_?" P.T. repeated, astonished. Lettie shrugged.

"Sure. I mean, it doesn't really come up when you're filming a movie, but when you're performing live in a concert, or a play, or whatever - there are times where you aren't at your best. You might be sick, or tired, or even have some sort of family emergency. But when performance is your livelihood, you have to push through that. Be professional, like she's saying," Lettie finished, nodding at Jenny. Once she recovered from her surprise, she smiled triumphantly at P.T.

"There, you see?" P.T. groaned internally. He could only manage so many strong-willed women at one time. He tried a new tactic:

"Jenny, professionalism notwithstanding, think about how broadening this scene would be for you. Okay, so it's not something that would occur in real life for you, but that's what would make it interesting. And - " he added before she could object, "This scene will make you more relatable to the audience. Not everyone can be as professional as you. Lots of people have experienced rejection or heartbreak, so to see a role model portray it on screen could be a really special moment for the people watching this film…" he trailed off, letting his words sink in. She appeared to be thinking it over - he could tell she really liked the 'role model' idea. Behind her, he saw Lettie smirk and he broke out into a sweat. _Please_ , he pleaded to her with his eyes, _Let this one go!_ He nearly had Jenny on his side - he didn't need Lettie stirring up chaos just for the sake of stirring up chaos. Lettie rolled her eyes, but she smiled, and P.T. relaxed. Finally, Jenny turned to him.

"Fine," she sighed. "But I won't like it!" P.T. hid a smile.

"Thank you, Jenny."

* * *

Charity watched nervously as the horse-drawn carriage was being set up. Jenny was also apprehensive.

"What if they trample me again?" It was precisely what Charity was worried about. But Phin had _promised_ her these horses were calmer. Then, she had an inspiration.

"Helen!" Her youngest daughter looked up from where she was fidgeting uncomfortably in her dress (Helen hated dressing like a 'girly-girl', as she put it, but she wanted to be in her father's movie more).

"Yeah, Mama?"

"Can you come just pet the horses and keep them calm? Animals love you." To her surprise, Helen hesitated.

"Daddy said I should be sure not to get my dress dirty." Charity raised an eyebrow.

"How...sensible of him. But I don't think it should be a problem if all you do is pet the horses." _Famous last words,_ Charity thought wryly, but the horses _did_ visibly relax under Helen's attention.

* * *

Lettie walked up to Phillip and W.D., who were watching the carriage scene from the sidelines.

"And what are you two up to?" she bounced up to them, startling them apart and interrupting the conversation. Phillip blinked, then motioned to the slingshot next to him.

"We're debating the merits of startling the horses when the scene begins."

"We're bored, and we'd love another installment of the Jenny Lind Show," W.D. added. For that's what the cast and crew referred to her tantrums as: "The Jenny Lind Show is back on", "You missed a great episode of the Jenny Lind Show last night", etcetera. Lettie raised an eyebrow.

"Barnum'll be in the carriage, too," she pointed out. Phillip shook his head.

"We'd do it after Jenny gets in but before P.T. joins her." Lettie sighed as she sat down next to them.

"I hate to be the rare voice of reason here, but you can't _purposely_ cause carriage stampedes with people inside. That's dangerous. There are easier ways to see the Jenny Lind Show. And," she added, seeing as they weren't all the way convinced, "You haven't even considered the most important thing." W.D. and Phillip exchanged looks.

"What's that?" Phillip

"Charity will _kill you_." A pause. And then:

"No slingshot," the two men said in unison.

* * *

"This is fun!" Helen exclaimed as she tried to catch the grapes her sister and mother threw at her. "We should throw food all the time!"

"Nope."

"Absolutely not."

"Awww."

* * *

"Don't drop me again, dear," Charity teased as she and Phin prepared to dance for 'Tightrope'. He chuckled.

"No promises."

* * *

Charity squinted in confusion as her husband did not appear among the sheets.

"Phin?" No response. "Where are you?"

"BOO!"

"Auuugh!" Charity stumbled backwards and landed on her rear. "PHINEAS!"

"Hey, technically, I did _not_ drop you."

* * *

"Are you alright?" Charity turned to see Anne studying her with concern. "You're grinding your teeth."

"Fine," Charity lied as Jenny laid her head on Phin's shoulder. _That was not in the script._ "Just fine." Anne patted her shoulder.

"You know, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar." Charity frowned.

"What do you mean by that?" Anne explained, and Charity smiled. It was an interesting plot device that she hadn't considered...and she could get her husband back for that little jump scare earlier. Two birds with one stone.

* * *

"Why do I always wear nearly the same dress?" Jenny pouted.

"Because in the 19th century, dresses were expensive and difficult to make. Even if you're a world-renowned opera singer."

"Oh...I suppose that makes sense."

* * *

After a (disgruntled but professional) Jenny gave her last performance, P.T. walked on stage to close the show.

"Thank you," he said to her. To his shock and horror, instead of glaring at him icily and bowing with him, she pulled him in close and kissed him. Cameras flashed. Time slowed down. _Oh, God, Oh, Charity is going to KILL me. No, first she'll kill Jenny, and THEN she'll kill me!_ She let him go. He gaped at her, at Charity, at the crew.

"That wasn't...you weren't...I didn't," he stammered. He took in Charity's stony face, and just as he was sure he would have to visit his wife in prison for _first degree murder_ , she broke out into a bright smile and _high-fived with Jenny_.

"You should see your face," she chortled. Jenny smirked.

"Absolutely _whipped_." P.T. just looked at Charity. Then to Jenny. Than back at Charity.

"First Lettie and Jenny _agree_ on something, and now this? Is today Opposite Day or something?"

* * *

Charity held tight to Phin's hand as they watched firemen set alight several cheap sets that had been built for that very purpose. They and the camera crew were standing near a concrete platform upon which the sets rested, in a rather remote location. An entire fire safety team, with trucks, was standing by.

Still, Charity caught her breath as the buildings went up in flames. She gave a sigh of relief as, after several minutes, the team put out the flames at the proper moment.

"There, you see?" Phineas circled his thumb on her hand comfortingly. "The hardest part is done."

"Oh, don't jinx it," she warned him. "We are still setting a small part of the set on fire later, after all."

* * *

P.T. rubbed his hands together a little nervously, despite his earlier bravado to Charity. The fire was actually less fraught with risk than the stage fight, where injuries could - and were very likely to - occur in a snap.

"Be careful, everyone." As they exchanged dubious looks, he amended, "Well, as careful as you can be given what I'm asking you to do. _Safety_ is the priority - it doesn't matter how much time this next scene takes. Okay?" Seeing nods, he continued, "Alright - Phillip, W.D., Lettie, front and center. Fire safety team on standby. Protesters…" he trailed off. "Charity, where are my protesters?"

"Lunch break," she replied distractedly.

"Lunch brea-? Come on, people, let's follow the schedule, please."

* * *

THE FIRE, TAKE ONE

-" _Our_ town, son. We think you should leave. You and your _freaks_ , and your _spooks_."

"Sir." Phillip licked his lips. "I will only ask once more." The Lead Protester raised an eyebrow and sneered,

"Then what, boy?" Charity gasped as W.D. decked him, despite the fact that she both knew it wasn't real and knew that it was coming. Then, absolute chaos.

" _CHAAAARGE!"_ Lettie roared as she led the troupe in a call to arms. As a stuntman was thrown through the a silk screen window and the protester toppled the lamp, Barnum called,

"Cut, CUT! Let's get that fire out, people." Husband and wife sighed in relief as the flames were extinguished safely. "The beginning part will need some cleaning up, but the fire part is good. Smooth sailing from here on out, Charity."

" _Don't. Jinx. It."_

* * *

"Ugh, why is it so hot in here?" Lettie fanned herself, uncomfortable.

"Because the circus is on fire." P.T. replied reasonably. "I figured we could turn the thermostat up to get some authenticity. Verisimilitude!" Seeing Lettie's icy glare, he changed his mind.

"Or, we could just _imagine_ the heat."

"Good call."

* * *

TAKE FOUR

"Everyone stay close!" The cast ran away from the imaginary fire before them.

"Phillip! Is everyone out, is everyone out?"

"Yeah, yeah-"

"-the animals, the animals-"

"We had to set them free, what else could we do?"

"W.D., where's Anne?" Phillip shouted.

"Where's Anne, where's Anne?" Everyone gasped in horror as Phillip ran into the 'flames'. P.T. restrained W.D. from running into the building. Well, he _tried_.

"Ouch!" he exclaimed as he fell on his butt. W.D. looked embarrassed.

"Sorry!"

"You gotta go easy on him, W.D.! He's _old_ and _weak_!"

"You're only seven years younger than I am, Lettie!"

* * *

TAKE FIVE

"Daddy!"

"No, Phin!"

"Daddy!" Charity shielded her daughters as she tried to keep it together. Everyone watched as P.T. carried Phillip (pretending to be unconscious) and they got him on a stretcher.

"CUT!" Everyone sighed in relief, almost as if there had really been a fire. It was an emotionally draining scene.

"If you ever run into a real fire like that, I'll kill you."

"Understood, dear."

* * *

TAKE SEVEN

" _What if we rewrite the stars,"_ Anne sang tearfully, " _Say you were made to be mine. Nothing could keep us apart-_ "

"CUT!" Anne looked up, startled.

"Stop laughing, Phillip." Phillip, made up to look bruised and covered in soot and ash, smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll get it next time."

* * *

MANY TAKES LATER

" _What if we rewrite the -_ PHILLIP, if you don't stop laughing _this minute_ , I'll _kill you!_ No, wait, I'll do one better: I'll knock you out for real! I'll -" Charity stepped in before things could get violent.

"Let's take a break, shall we?"

* * *

P.T. sighed in relief. They had made it through the past few days relatively unscathed, especially considering the scenes they had to film. He and Charity entered the lounge, where nearly everyone was there: Lettie, Jenny, Charles, Anne...everyone but who he needed to see.

"Where are Phillip and W.D.? I need to talk to them about some small parts we may need to reshoot in the next few days."

"Where do you think?" Jenny drawled lazily, "They're making out in a closet somewhere, like they always are." She paused. "In the closet, ha!"

Anne's eyes widened in surprise. Charity gasped in shock - not at the news that W.D. and Phillip were dating or whatever, because she'd kind of gotten that vibe, but at Jenny's reveal of what was obviously a big secret. Obvious to anyone but Jenny, that is. P.T. gaped at her.

"What the hell, Jenny?"

"What?" Jenny was oblivious as always, "Who cares, if they want to be fa*s or whatever-" she was cut off by twin gasps behind her, as Phillip and W.D. had finally joined them - at the worst possible moment.

"W.D.?" Anne began softly, but W.D. couldn't even look at his sister. All the color had drained out of his face. In contrast, Phillip was fire-engine red. "W.D.-"

" _YOU'RE FIRED!"_ P.T. roared at Jenny suddenly, cutting Anne off (although she had no idea what she would have said if he hadn't).

" _What?"_ It was the Jenny Lind Show at it's absolute worst. Charity and P.T. together forced her out of the room.

You could cut the tension with a knife. Most of the cast filed out to give them some privacy. W.D. _still_ wouldn't look at Anne. Phillip opened his mouth to say something, but before he could -

" _Ugh_." The trio turned to look at Lettie in surprise. She put her hands on her hips and mock-glared. "Do you mean to say that instead of playing matchmaker for two eligible bachelors, I don't match up _either of them_?"

* * *

A/N: Wow, alright. I've been building up to this for a _long time_. I don't normally solicit reviews, given that I'm not as good about leaving them as I should be (though I'm trying to work on that). But for this particular chapter, I'm quite curious to know what you think. Did you like it? Hate it? Were you surprised, or did you see it coming? I tried to leave tiny clues, little bits of foreshadowing, in each chapter. But I'm afraid most of my foreshadowing is either ridiculously obvious or so obscure that only I, the omniscient author, understands that it's meant to be foreshadowing.


	11. Aftermath (From Now On)

A/N: Wow, so sorry for this incredibly long gap between updates! Thanks for tuning in, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Fun fact!: The part of Jenny Lind _was_ actually written with Anne Hathaway in mind! Which is crazy because, even though I _love_ Anne Hathaway, I really can't imagine anyone but Rebecca Ferguson as Jenny Lind.

 **Aftermath (From Now On)**

* * *

 _JENNY LIND QUITS!_

Charity reread the headline on her laptop for the dozenth time that morning. _FAMOUS OPERA DIVA LEAVES BARNUM'S PET PROJECT._ She glanced at her husband, who had the same story pulled up on his phone, but was ignoring it in favor of lying on the floor with his arm across his eyes.

"This isn't so bad, Phin," she tried.

" _Unnnnghhhhh_.."

"You always like to tell me that there's no such thing as bad publicity."

"We should've hired Anne Hathaway." Charity paused, but it wasn't the time to agree. Looking at the headline again, she chuckled. Phineas raised his head to look at her in disbelief.

"Did you just _laugh?_ "

"Look, life is imitating art before it's even art!" she replied, cheerfully pointing to the screen." He smiled weakly.

"Why are you so relaxed about this? What do you know what I don't?" his eyes narrowed. "Did you do something terrible to Jenny Lind?"

"No!" Charity protested. In a rare reversal of roles, her husband raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Not yet, anyway."

"Charity-"

"No, no, it's not what you think."

"Oh, really?" Unbidden, memories of Jenny and Charity's fights from back in the day rose to the forefront of his mind.

"Let's just say that telling the press she quit our project under bad working conditions, rather than that she was fired, is libel."

"Okaaaay…". When her husband didn't say anything else, she elaborated,

"Which means that Jenny is about to have a very unpleasant conversation with our legal team."

"We have a legal team?"

"Phineas!"

"Kidding! I'm kidding!"

* * *

Anne froze in the darkness as she heard someone moving around close by. She held her breath and tried to listen above her pounding heart. Her eyes fell on a supply closet where she could hide, but she wasn't that desperate...yet. And the door was locked, which meant that she didn't have to internally battle with herself. After a few minutes without noise, Anne concluded that whoever had been there had moved on - or, more likely, that she was simply on-edge.

Although, Lettie had warned her that there were occasionally patrols at night. And it would really be difficult to explain to the higher-ups why she was sneaking around in the closed part of the extensive building - forbidden to the public at night - instead of simply asking Barnum for the access code he and the crew used after-hours. That would've been much simpler, and less nerve-wracking, she admitted to herself while straining her ears for any unexpected noises. But this was an ambush, and it wouldn't do to risk her target finding out her plans ahead of time.

Anne reached the next door - normally electronically locked - and opened it as quietly as possible. She wondered, not for the first time, the story behind Lettie's competence in hacking. Then again, some things were better left unasked. At least she hadn't had to pay too much for this particular favor - agreeing that the current score in their prank war was even had sufficed.

It went unsaid though, that if she was caught, Lettie's name would be kept strictly out of it.

She let out a breath of relief as she entered 'safe' part of the building. Anyone who saw her now wouldn't question her presence. Now that there was less of a need for stealth, she quickly reached her destination: the trapeze practice ring. As she expected, there was only one other person there.

Anne swallowed down her nervousness as she watched her brother. It was true, what they had told Barnum, Lettie, and Phillip not two weeks ago: trapeze was their therapy.

And because W.D. had been avoiding her for an entire week, Anne was desperate. She wasn't sure that ambushing W.D. and forcing him to talk to her was the best course of action - but it was better than doing nothing, and this was the one time she knew for certain that he'd be alone. And couldn't run away as easily.

Her mind made up, Anne quietly scaled the scaffolding up to the rafters, taking care to stay out of sight. At the top, she uncoiled the ropes that she had placed there earlier, and analyzed her brother's flying form carefully. She was going to have to time this just right…

W.D. yelled in shock as his sister appeared out of nowhere and slammed into him, scaring him half to death. Before he knew it he was well and truly tangled in rope, as Anne had planned. Both of them knew from experience that certain mistakes could get you trapped, as it had happened with he and Phillip during rehearsal, and she had just used that against him.

"What the hell, Anne?" She held up her hands in a placating gesture.

"I just need a minute." W.D. raised an eyebrow but didn't try to escape, though he probably could have easily enough. That seemed like a good sign. Anne took a deep breath.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. No, wait," she added as W.D. opened his mouth to say something, "Let me finish. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that you couldn't trust me with your secret. And I don't care what your sexuality is, if you're bi or gay, or even if you're straight is this is unique to Phillip. I love you, and I just want you to be happy." She held her breath, having no idea what W.D. might say in response to that, though she knew him better than anyone. Or at least, she had thought she did. W.D.'s voice was soft when he answered.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's...it's hard because, even though I know in my heart that you wouldn't judge me in any way, there's still that tiny fear, not knowing what the people closest to you are going to think of this different part of you -" he was cut off abruptly as his sister through her arms around him. They stayed like that for a while, until -

"Anne?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I please get down now?"

* * *

Very early the next morning, Charity Barnum was humming as she went to get everything ready for the day's filming. Technically, she could let the opening crew do it, but this was often the only time she could count on a few moments of peace and quiet during the day.

It also allowed her to dismantle some of her husband's prank traps, the ones he thought she didn't know about.

Her set-up was business as usual until she reached the trapeze room. She raised an eyebrow at the Wheeler siblings stretched out together on a net...fast asleep. Charity smiled as she silently closed the door. They had both had a somewhat rough week, she knew, and could probably use the sleep. It had been hard not to notice the two normally close siblings avoiding each other, and she was glad to see that they had made up. She would tell the opening crew to let them be for a few more hours.

And she would tell the IT people that Lettie had hacked into their system, _again._

* * *

AFTERMATH, TAKE ONE

"They caught the thugs who started the fire." James Gordon Bennett dusted off the stairs next to Barnum with his newspaper. "I thought you'd like to know." Barnum didn't say anything, staring at the wreckage of everything he'd built. "I never liked your show," Bennett continued, " But I always thought the people did." He raised his flask to his lips.

"They did. They -" Barnum was cut off by the man's sudden spit-take. " _What -_ "

"What _is_ this?!" Bennett exclaimed, coughing. P.T. raised an eyebrow.

"It's supposed to be water."

"That is _not_ water." Barnum took the flask from Bennett and sniffed cautiously.

"Lettie! How much did you pay the set people to fill the flask with pastis?"

"I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about, Barnum."

"Suuure…"

* * *

TAKE TWO

"I mean, thank God for Jenny's tour. We can borrow off the profits; we'll be fine." Bennett stared at Barnum in surprise.

"You don't know."

"Hmm?" Bennett handed the newspaper he had been holding to Barnum. Both men blanched. Instead of the photograph of his kiss with Jenny, P.T. was looking at rather... _interesting_...photo of Jenny in their younger, wilder days. He wasn't sure whether he should be happy that his wife was finally getting into the pranking spirit, or fearful. This blackmail photo was _years_ old, after all.

Then again, it was probably better for her to blow off some steam here, than to actually use it against Jenny.

* * *

"Anne?"

"Yes?"

"Why does Phillip look terrified of you lately?"

"..."

" _Anne."_

"Okay, so I may have had a 'friendly chat' with him."

"What?!"

"Hey, you were the one who always told me that it was your sibling duty to properly scare new boyfriends."

" _That's different!"_

* * *

FROM NOW ON, TAKE ONE

Phineas Taylor Barnum sat in the darkened bar, attempting to drown his sorrows in the amber liquid. He barely looked up when the entrance bell jingled and the door opened. He should have, though.

" _RAAAAAAH!"_

" _Aaaauuugh!" CRASH._ Barnum screamed as, instead of Tom climbing up onto the bartop before him like he expected, Lettie snuck up behind him and scared the ever-living daylights out of him. Lettie and her co-actors snickered as Barnum fell off the barstool.

"You scream like a girl!"

" _Lettie!_ "

"Yeah, high-pitched just like that!"

* * *

TAKE TWO

" _I drank champagne with kings and queens; the politicians praised my name!"_ Barnum stared nostalgically at the black-and-white photographs adorning the bar wall. " _But those were someone else's dreams, the pitfalls of the man I be -_ Hey, wait a minute, who drew a mustache on my photo of the Queen and I?"

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _From now on…"_ P.T. grabbed Lettie 'round the waist and swung her around, blinking in surprise when, instead of laughing, she let out an involuntary shriek. "Lettie are you... _ticklish?_ " His eyes narrowed deviously.

" _Don't you dare!"_

* * *

TAKE FOUR

" _From now onnnn!"_ the cast winced as Chang and Eng slid too far across the bartop and crashed to the floor.

* * *

TAKE FIVE

" _And we will come back home, and we will come back home, hooome agaaaain!"_ Everyone watched, impressed, as Dog Boy did a flip.

"Now it's your turn, Barnum!" Lettie hollered as P.T. scowled and everyone else laughed.

* * *

TAKE EIGHT

" _From now onnnnnnn..."_ Barnum pushed the doors open and sprinted down the street. " _What's waited til tomorrow starts tonight. It starts_ tonight! _Ouch!_ " His triumphant song was cut short as he tripped and crashed into the pavement.

"Smooth." That was Anne, once again in her "I-just-survived-a-deadly-fire outfit." Barnum scowled.

"Cut me some slack! It's hard to sing and run at the same time!"

* * *

TAKE NINE

" _What's waited til tomorrow starts tonight. It starts_ tonight! _Let this promise in me start, like an anthem in my heart -_ Aaaah!" Charity shook her head and winced as her husband fell off of the train car he had tried to climb on. Why did he write these sort of scenes for himself?

* * *

TAKE THIRTEEN

" _...And we will come back home, home again…"_ Anne watched through misty eyes as Phillip finally woke up. Squeezing his hand firmly but gently, she sniffled and tried not to let any tears fall. Her look of tender affection was replaced by annoyance when Phillip burst out laughing.

"Come _on_ , Phillip! I had a moment going!"

* * *

TAKE TWENTY SEVEN

P.T. sighed in exasperation as both Anne and Phillip were (once again) unable to hold back their giggles as they leaned in to kiss each other.

"Haven't you ever kissed a co-star for a film before?" he asked rhetorically, waving his clipboard. "Get it together!"

"Sorry," Anne said, trying and failing to look serious. Her brief composure broke as Phillip let out an involuntary snort, and then they were off again. P.T. looked at his wife like, _Now what?_

"Just let them get it out of their system, dear, it's a unique situation."

* * *

"Alright, gang! Nice job! Tomorrow we start working towards 'The Greatest Show'!"

"No." P.T. turned around in surprise to stare at his wife.

"No?"

"No," Charity confirmed. "Because, _somebody_ thought it would be a good idea to combine fire and trampolines, and now we need new trampolines."

P.T. chuckled nervously.

"Erm, I can explain." Charity folded her arms across her chest.

"This should be good."

* * *

A/N: Well, that's all for this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it! I probably only have one more chapter left (The Greatest Show), unless I decide I want an epilogue; I haven't decided yet. Happy Belated Easter, for those who celebrate!


	12. The Greatest Show! (The Finale)

A/N: Have I really not updated this story since _April?_ Yikes. Well, my muse is finally back, after a few false starts. Whether you're a faithful regular or a brand-new reader, thanks for being here!

Which reminds me: Thanks to my "new" (meaning new since my last update) supporters: BlackRoseAki, HeartOfChaos13, LyonessaStark, Phoenix the warrior goddess, and NeverthoughIwould!

 **The Greatest Show! (The Finale)**

* * *

THE GREATEST SHOW, TAKE ONE

" _Whoah!" STOMP. STOMP STOMP._ A dim room, lit only by the slightest amount of sunlight.

" _Whoah!" STOMP. STOMP STOMP._ A man's slender silhouette is illuminated.

" _Whoah!"_ _STOMP._

" _Ladies and gents, this is the moment you're waiting for."_

" _Whoah!" STOMP._

" _Been searchin' in the dark, your sweat soakin' through the floor."_ The music swells with tension.

" _Whoah!" STOMP._

" _And buried in your bones, there's an ache that you can't ignore…Takin' your breath, stealin' your mind. And all that was real is left behind!"_ Phineas Taylor Barnum strides confidently underneath the bleachers, accompanied by the crowd's stomping feat, and...promptly walks right into a pole.

" _Oww!"_

* * *

TAKE TWO

" _Whoah!" STOMP. STOMP STOMP._

" _Whoah!" STOMP. STOMP STOMP._

"Cut!" P.T. blinked rapidly as the dim room was suddenly brightly lit.

"What's wrong, Charity?" They were only a few seconds in, for Pete's sake!

"Anne tells me that the move you're doing is called 'dabbing', and has cult origins," Charity informed her husband. "We can't use that." Meanwhile, the actress in question blanched and accidentally inhaled her soda.

"Why on earth did you tell her that?" Phillip asked in bemusement, while her brother burst out laughing.

"I didn't," Anne wheezed, "I told her-"

"She said that that dabbing had a _cult following_ ," W.D. managed to say through his laughter, before Barnum's surprised expression set him off again.

"That's kind of a leap, though," Phillip said, scratching his head.

"I think, at this point in the film, Charity's playing it safe rather than sorry," Anne said when she finally managed to stop coughing. Meanwhile, W.D. couldn't stop giggling at the whole thing, especially at Charity's facial expression when P.T. explained to his wife that dabbing was, in fact, a popular hip-hop move that had nothing to do with cults.

* * *

TAKE THREE

Barnum strode regally under the bleachers as the crowd stomped their feet. " _Don't fight it, it's comin' for you, runnin' at ya! It's only this moment; don't care what comes after!"_ The showman made broad movements with his arms reminiscent of a maestro conducting his symphony orchestra. With each sweeping gesture a spotlight switches on, three in total.

" _Cut_!" Barnum frowned, surprised.

"But why? That went perfectly!" His wife looked sheepish, though not nearly as much as she did a few minutes earlier.

"Nothing ever goes right the first time, so I didn't have the camera on."

"That's...fair."

* * *

Anne squinted at her script thoughtfully.

"Hey, Charity? Is it right that I'm no longer on a trampoline for this scene?"

"Yes," Barnum replied before she could, "You're going to get launched off of a lever instead. We couldn't get any trampolines; they're on back-order."

"Oh, okay…" Anne trailed off thoughtfully. When P.T. was out of earshot, she grinned at Charity. "What's the real reason?"

Her only reply was Charity's eyebrows raised in a, _What do you think_?

* * *

"What are you looking for, dear?" Charity asked. Her husband jumped.

"Nothing!" he replied quickly, though his tone and smile meant that it was surely Something. She raised an eyebrow. "On an unrelated note, though, have you seen my toolbox?"

"No," Charity replied, and though it was technically true, she had to hold back a smirk. She knew what he was looking for, now.

But, since she had paid the girls double allowance to make sure he couldn't get his hands on anything flammable, he was unlikely to find it.

* * *

The cast and crew watched in absolute astonishment as the huge elephant allowed Helen Barnum to place the scarlet headpiece in front of its ears. Sure, they were trained animals, but it was still a rather unbelievable sight.

"Hey, Daddy?" the little girl inquired in the middle of this activity.

"Yes, sweetheart?" P.T. replied distractedly.

"Can I be a tree in the final scene?"

"Sure," he said without really hearing her, gaze still fixed on the elephants

"Woohoo!" she gave a little fist pump with her free hand as she finished adorning the last elephant. "Now, don't you be shaking those off," she shook a stern finger at the elephants, and P.T. could've sworn they nodded their heads obediently. He turned away and rubbed his eyes. The whole production must finally be getting to him.

* * *

THE GREATEST SHOW (REPRISE) TAKE ONE

P.T. cringed at the awful cacophony of noise that erupted from the set. Elephants trumpeted, horses snorted, people shouted, the smoke alarm blared, the orchestra struck up a jaunty tune...wait, what?

At first he thought he misheard (and easy to do, with all the noise), but no, the brass section of the orchestra was currently playing John Philip Sousa's 'The Stars and Stripes Forever' as loud as they could manage in the midst of all the chaos.

P.T. raised an eyebrow and turned to look at Lettie.

"How long have you been saving that one?" The actress smirked proudly.

"The whole movie." After a moment's pause, P.T. grinned and tipped his hat to her.

You could say what you wanted about P.T. Barnum, but he always gave credit where credit was due.*

* * *

TAKE THREE

" _Whoah!"_

" _Colossal we come, these renegades in the ring!"_

" _Whoah!"_

" _Where the lost get found and we crown 'em the circus kings!"_ P.T. mentally frowned as the fake snow failed to fall from the ceiling, though he didn't break his stride nor his expression as the scene otherwise continued as planned. This scene was complicated enough that they'd most likely have to re-shoot this part anyway, and even if they didn't they could add the snow in later.

* * *

"Come on, now," Phillip coaxed, holding out his hand invitingly. "Give it back." The elephant just eyed him calmly, large eyes half-closed, unconcerned and unimpressed. P.T.'s top hat remained firmly grasped in its trunk. From her spot on the sidelines, Lettie sighed in exasperation.

"This is getting us nowhere, Carlyle!" Phillip crossed his arms.

"Can you do any better?" he challenged. Lettie huffed and started towards the elephant, only to be stopped in her tracks by its abruptly wide eyes and raised ears. She didn't know much about elephant body language, but the meaning was clear: _Back off_. She gulped and slowly backed away.

"Here, let me try," Anne said softly, though she didn't approach right away. She moved sideways into the animal's field of vision, and as she'd hoped, the elephant relaxed. She grinned and moved slowly forward to stroke its trunk, and laughed when she saw the elephant's tail wagging like a dog's.

"She remembers me from when Helen showed her to me." A minute later, Anne was able to gently tug the black silk hat from the elephant's grasp. She, Lettie, and Phillip sighed collectively in relief.

"You know, I don't think I ever imagined being up close to an elephant in real life, never mind being able to add 'Elephant-tamer' to my resume," Anne remarked as the trio turned to leave the room. The elephant in question huffed angrily and stopped them cold. Apparently holding The Hat was okay, but taking The Hat out of the room was not.

"You may want to wait on adding that one," Lettie whispered as they remained motionless. Anne let out a slow, shaky breath.

"Agreed."

* * *

TAKE SEVEN

" _-Everything you ever want; it's everything you ever need,"_ Barnum sang as Anne swung gracefully around the ring, " _And it's here right in front of you; this is where you wanna be!"_ Anne winced internally as she missed the elephant's proffered trunk and couldn't grab P.T.'s hat.

* * *

TAKE FIFTEEN

Several failed takes later, Anne wasn't the only one wincing as the trapeze artist missed the elephant yet again. P.T. sighed, though he understood by now that he was asking a lot. (Which meant, of course, that he had been all set to complain about it, until Charity had given him The Look).

Meanwhile, Anne and W.D. were conferring, trying to figure out what she was doing wrong. It could be the timing, or the angle, or both.

"Maybe I could try it, instead," W.D. suggested. His sister shook her head.

"At this point, I'd be up for it, but it wouldn't work with the rest of the scene." W.D. nodded.

"Good point."

When he turned away, Anne paused thoughtfully. That had given her an idea…

* * *

TAKE TWENTY

" _This is where you wanna be!"_

" _This is where you wan-na beeee!"_

" _Where it's covered in all the colored lights; where the runaways are runnin' the night -"_

" _Oh, come on!"_ The music faded out slightly as Barnum jogged towards his apprentice - no, his partner. _("Impossible comes true; it's takin' over you,")._ The showman swept off his hat and offered it to Phillip.

"This is for you." For a moment, the younger man could only stare at the black top hat in surprise. P.T. couldn't hold back the grin that spread across his face.

 _("Oh, this is the greatest show!")_

Phillip recovered and donned the hat, smiling.

"What will you be doing?" P.T. smiled wider.

"Watching my girls grow up." No hesitation. He tossed his cane to Phillip.

" _Oww!"_ P.T. winced as, instead of catching it, the cane smacked Phillip in the face.

"Sorry!" Phillip rubbed his nose ruefully.

"I can't take over for you if you maim me, you know!"

* * *

TAKE TWENTY-ONE

 _("Watchin' it come true; it's takin' over you…")_ Phillip grinned even wider, then sprinted towards the ring. He slid gracefully into the spotlight.

" _THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOOOW!"_ The crowd burst into thunderous applause. If it was possible, the room pulsed with twice as much energy.

" _Where the runaways are runnin' the night! Impossible comes true, it's takin' over you..."_ Anne landed gracefully beside Phillip and they danced in sync.

" _Cause everything you want is right in front of you, and you see the impossible is comin' true, and the world can't stop us now-"_

" _Oh, this is the greatest show!"_ Barnum smiled at his circus family from the sidelines, then turned away. They didn't need him to hover.

" _Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh…"_

" _Oh! This is the greatest show!"_

" _Oh! This is the greatest show!"_

" _Oh! This is the greatest show..."_ Phillip spun around the ring as the rest of the circus twirled around him.

" _Oh! This is the greatest show-_

" _This is the greatest!"_ Phillip spun one final time, and got a surprise. For off to the side, it was not Anne waiting for him, but W.D. He blinked, then grinned.

(" _Oh! This is the greatest show!")_ As W..D. was taller, he twirled Phillip around, before dipping him down and kissing him. Through their singing, the troupe whooped and cheered.

" _OH! THIS IS THE GREATEST SHOOOOWWWW!"_

* * *

A/N: I'm sad to say that that's all, folks! Yes, I know I mentioned a possible epilogue, but after writing this chapter, I don't feel that it's needed. I suppose if I think of any important missed moments, I could write a (Deleted) Deleted Scenes. Or one of you could!

I'm also thinking of posting a list of All The Random Things I Had To Google While Writing This Story, because there are a great many and I think it would be at least somewhat entertaining. (One of the best ones is tonight's, "What is a ringmaster's stick called?", not because it's random but because it's dumb. It's a cane. The stick is a cane. This is what happens when you write at 1 AM.)

*John Philip Sousa's "The Stars and Stripes Forever" is known in the circus world as "The Disaster March." The band would play it as loudly as possible if a catastrophic disaster occurred, in order to alert all of the performers and workers to evacuate as quickly as possible.

I can't believe that after over a year, this story is really over! Thank you so, so much to everyone that has read, reviewed, followed, or favorited this story. I had a blast! And a special thank-you to upwiththebirds33 and Clio1792, who have not only reviewed every chapter of this story but of my other TGS stories as well. Your lovely reviews always brighten my day and I'm always excited to hear from you after posting a chapter!

Until next time!

~Leia

* * *

 _Sometime later…_

Phineas Taylor Barnum groaned in frustration as the elephant he was sitting on wouldn't budge.

"Come onnn!" Like the last five minutes of begging and cajoling, this did nothing to convince the animal to move. He gently nudged the elephant with his heels.

"Mush! Mush, I say!"

Several yards in front of him, Charity was trying and failing not to laugh.

"She's not a dog, Phin! Or a horse!" P.T. sighed.

"Think, think…" he muttered to himself, then straightened up as he had an idea.

"Helen! Call her to you! Please?" The little girl cupped her hands over her mouth and shouted,

"Come here, Rosie! Come here and I'll give you a banana!" The elephant raised her head in interest. It was working! P.T. grinned, then held on for dear life as Rosie seemingly went from zero to Mach 1 in seconds.

" _Nooo!_ Slow slow slow!" As before, the elephant paid him no mind.

" _AHHHH!"_

* * *

 _~FIN_


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